Welcome to the Random Student interview, where the line between journalistic integrity and personal boundaries becomes blurred.
Hello there! What is your name
Paige
What year are you, Paige?
I’m a sophomore.
And where are you from?
Charlottesville, Virginia
Charlottesville, Virginia!? What brings you up to blustery Ann Arbor?
My dad is from Michigan. I have family here.
And what are you studying at this university?
History and Political Science
Oh, cool. Are you a feminist?
Uh, I am not.
OK, because you have a nose ring, and sometimes if you see a girl with a nose ring and they study political science, it means they are a feminist. Do you think that’s a fair stereotype?
Sure, if you’d like to say that.
And how do you like your studies so far
I like them. It’s been nice.
What has been your favorite class?
Hmm… that’s a tough one. I always liked Polisci. I really liked my professor.
Was he good looking?
I always hit on him, but he’s an old man.
So you like old guys?
Yeah, I just like old guys.
OK then, I guess I’m striking out. Did you vote in the past MSA election?
I did.
You did?
I did.
I don’t believe you.
I did! Don’t ask me who I voted for. That’s a different question.
Who did you vote for?
I don’t remember.
Did your party win?
No, I don’t know.
So you put a lot of thought into your decision.
Yeah, obviously.
If you could pick your next MSA president, would you want him or her to be as controversial as Chris Armstrong?
I mean, yeah. I think it’s interesting so why not?
Do you think it detracts from his ability to govern?
No, I don’t think so.
If you could change one major thing about this university, what would it be?
One thing?
Yes. Nude Tuesdays perhaps? I’ve proposed that a few times to Mary Sue.
Hmm … that’s a good idea!
Nude Tuesdays?
Yeah!
Do you think most people would be unwilling to adhere to that?
Yeah, probably. There are a lot of uptight people at this school.
Are you aware that Facebook … Do you know what Facebook is?
No, what is that?
(awkward silence)
You don’t know what Facebook is?
No.
It’s a social networking system.
Oh, OK. Yeah I think I’ve heard of that.
Are you aware that Facebook can now take your phone number and give it out to companies?
No, I was not aware of that.
How does that make you feel?
That’s kind of uncomfortable.
Why does that make you uncomfortable?
Because I don’t want random people having my phone number.
Right … can I have your phone number?
… No.
OK, fair. That was a trick question, good job. Do you think businesses should be entitled to look into your pictures and hire you based on what they see?
Well I don’t have any of those pictures on Facebook.
Not a single one?
Nah … definitely not.
If you could go on a date with one of the following, who would it be: Justin Bieber, Joe Jonas, Chris Hanson or a member of Hanson?
Definitely Justin Bieber.
You’re aware that he is not 18?
Yeah, I know. You didn’t say we were hooking up on the date. But yeah, definitely him. I like his music.
How many Justin Bieber albums do you have on your iPod?
I believe there is only one.
And do you have it?
Yes.
So you have 100 percent of his music?
Yes.
Why not the other two? Why not Joe Jonas?
Which one is that?
He’s the attractive one.
Oh, I don’t know. I’d like to go out with all of them. That sounds fun.
Have you had any New Year’s resolutions recently?
No, I didn’t make any!
Maybe your New Year’s resolution should be to be less conceited.
You’re so right. I’m going to work on that.
How do you feel about all of the new stores that are going up on Main street? 7-Eleven, Five Guys…
Bust a nut on 7-Eleven and on Five Guys.
Bust a nut?
Yeah, I’m so excited.
I really hope they let me print that. That’d be terrific. What if they put up a McDonalds, you’d be OK with that?
Are you kidding? The Golden Arch is beautiful!
So a 7-Eleven and Five Guys. Do you think they are catering to a certain type of people?
Like me? Definitely.
Anything to say to the student body at large?
1016 is where its at.
I’m not going to ask you what that means.
Perfect.