Random Student Interview

What are your Valentine’s Day plans?

Probably going to hang out with my girlfriend.

You have a girlfriend?

I do.

How long have you been dating?

About a little over two months.

OK. How did you guys meet?

Uh we met on the snowboard club.

Very cool. Very cool.

In Canada.

Is she a better snowboarder than you?

Uh no, I don’t think so.

So it’s good to be cocky?

Uh, I think so.

OK. What are you going to do for your girlfriend?

Um it’s in the process, things are getting figured out.

The process?

Yeah it’s a process.

Sounds like you’re going to kidnap her.

Uh no, I’m not going to kidnap her. Maybe. Special kidnap. It’s being worked out in my head.

Are you a presents guy or a date guy?

A date guy.

OK. So like, roller derby, laser light show, what kind of date?

Probably dinner.

Dinner?

I’m very simple.

Probably dress up in a tuxedo.

What’s your idea of dressing up?

A plaid tuxedo.

Where do you get that?

Salvation Army. Salvation Army has a large stock of tuxedos.

Really?

They’re brilliant.

What size are you?

Medium. Medium and a half.

What size is your girlfriend?

I’m not sure.

Doe she wear a tuxedo too to these dates or do you change it up?

Gosh it’s in the making. I don’t know.

You don’t know? Does this girlfriend exist?

Yeah she does.

Sounds like she’s a blueprint in your head.

No I just really haven’t thought of plans yet. Dinner is planned. The plan.

Do you think Valentine’s Day is kind of a Hallmark holiday or do you embrace it with open arms?

I think Hallmark is a pretty good way to talk about Valentine’s Day.

Have you thought about going to Egypt for Valentine’s Day?

No. Why would I think that?

There’s a lot of crowds over there. I think there’s a concert going on.

Concert?

Something going on.

Who’s playing?

I don’t know.

What’s his name?

Norah Jones? Might be. I don’t know there’s a ton of people over there.

There’s a big guy over there they’re all kind of surrounding.

Really? What’s his name?

He’s ….

Denzel Washington?

Pharaoh. The Egyptian pharaoh.

Wow, they’re getting up in their pharaoh count. A lot of pharaohs. Last few questions. Did you see “Inception?”

I have not. Is it good?

I’m not going to tell you. Have you seen “Toy Story 3?”

I have not.

Damn.

Not even “Social Network.”

Not even “The Social Network?” So you don’t plan on watching the Academy Awards?

I guess not. It wouldn’t be worth much to me.

Who’s your best picture nominee for the year?

I have no clue. I’m not up on …

Last question: Am I dreaming? Because this is a great interview. Am I dreaming?

Is that a philosophical question? Are we living in the matrix right now? Is this all just a dream?

Is that your best picture nomination — “The Matrix?”

Yes.

— Brand is an LSA Junior