The Michigan Daily: Is Nathan there?

Random: You”ve got him.

TMD: Well congratulations, you have been selected for Weekend, etc.”s Random Student Interview. How does that make you feel?

R: Pretty important. I feel like the chosen one.

TMD: Good, so what are you up to right now?

R: Procrastinating homework, watching TV.

TMD: What are you studying?

R: Stats.

TMD: How is that class going for you?

R: It”s pretty easy so far.

TMD: Great, well this is pretty boring, so let”s talk about something else. Have you ever choked on a pretzel before?

R: No.

TMD: Have you ever choked on anything before?

R: Yeah, I choked on a cherry once.

TMD: On that little thing in the middle?

R: Yeah the pit.

TMD: That is the pits. So what was the last movie you saw?

R: “Lord of the Rings.”

TMD: What did you think of that?

R: It was pretty cool.

TMD: Have you ever seen the movie “Commando?”

R: No.

TMD: No? No! What do you mean no?

R: Who”s in it?

TMD: It”s with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Vernon Wells.

R: Oh, so it”s one of those Schwarzenegger movies?

TMD: Exactly. So what are your favorite lunch time meal?

R: Pizza, soup

TMD: Do you like sandwiches?

R: Uh, yeah

TMD: Do you like your sandwiches with butter or mayonaise?

R: Butter, I don”t like mayonaise.

TMD: What are your plans for the weekend?

R: Two hockey games, do homework, watch T.V. pretty boring stuff.

TMD: You are going to the Michigan games I assume.

R: Of course.

TMD: What do you think of Bill Martin”s letter to the fans asking them to tone down the behavior.

R: Well it depends on what he means. I don”t think the chants should stop, but I can see the problem with offending fans from the opposing teams.

TMD: I guess. So have you ever known anyone with scurvy?

R: I think that disease died out in the 18th Century.

TMD: That”s too bad, I thought my third grade teacher had scurvy. So do you like Taco Bell?

R: No.

TMD: That”s horrible.

R: Well I like to think of it as Toxic Hell.

TMD: Well that”s about it. Is there anyone you would like to make a shout out to.

R: I would shout out to my girlfriend but she is right here.

TMD: OK, anyone else?

R: Uh, the First Little Crew.

TMD: Great, be sure to read Weekend, Etc. Take it easy.

R: Bye

Rookie interviewer realizes he can”t fill the page. Decides to call back.

R: Hello?

TMD: Hey it”s Matt from The Michigan Daily again?

R: Time for another interview again?

TMD: Yeah I need to fill space. So have you heard of that new pirate movie?

R: Huh?

TMD: Yeah, the new movie about the pirates?

R: No.

TMD: Well I heard it”s rated “Arrr!”

R: Ha. My girlfriend had told me that before.

TMD: Good, well be sure to read Weekend and have a good weekend.

R: Thanks.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.