The Michigan Daily: Congratulations, you”ve been randomly selected from 40,000 students to be in Weekend, Etc.”s random student interview. Will you participate?
Random Student: Sure.
TMD: What”s your take on Christmas? Does it suck or not?
RS: It definitely does not suck, because Santa is awesome.
TMD: Did you like to sit on his lap when you were a little kid?
TMD: Are you going sit on his lap this year?
RS: If I”m feeling saucy.
TMD: What”s better? “A Garfield Christmas” or “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”
RS: Charlie Brown for sure.
TMD: Are you headed home for Christmas?
RS: No, I”m going skiing.
RS: Breckenridge (Colo.)
TMD: What is the most painful injury you”ve ever sustained skiing?
RS: I broke my hip. The chairlift ran into the support post and we fell 22 feet.
TMD: And you”re going to go skiing again?
RS: Of course. I”ve been going skiing for 15 years.
TMD: Did your friends make fun of you for breaking your hip? Isn”t that kind of a grandma injury?
RS: When you fall 20 feet and you land on your side, you”re going to break something.
TMD: Did you sue?
TMD: Did you win?
RS: It”s still in court, actually.
TMD: What”s your roommate doing for Christmas?
RS: Nothing. Because he”s worthless. He”s from Detroit, the worst city in the world.
TMD: Would you celebrate Christmas if you were from Detroit?
RS: Probably not. I”d be too depressed.
TMD: Have you ever been to Detroit?
RS: I was there for a Red Wings game.
TMD: Are they going to win the cup this year?
RS: If hey don”t it”s pretty embarrassing, because they have all those good players.
TMD: If you had to eat Christmas dinner at Taco Bell, what would you eat?
RS: I”d probably get a gordito, or whatever they”re called No, that”s at Panchero”s I”ll take a gordita.
ROOMMATE IN THE BACKGROUND: What the Fuck?
TMD: Do you ever read the Daily?
RS: Some of the crime notes are pretty funny.
TMD: And finally, what”s the worst thing to get as a stocking stuffer?
RS: That”s a tough question. I don”t really like candy canes, those suck.
TMD: Was that a pun?
RS: No pun there.
TMD: OK then,