The Michigan Daily: Congratulations, you”ve been randomly selected from 40,000 students to be in Weekend, Etc.”s random student interview. Will you participate?

Random Student: Sure.

TMD: What”s your take on Christmas? Does it suck or not?

RS: It definitely does not suck, because Santa is awesome.

TMD: Did you like to sit on his lap when you were a little kid?

RS: Yeah.

TMD: Are you going sit on his lap this year?

RS: If I”m feeling saucy.

TMD: What”s better? “A Garfield Christmas” or “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

RS: Charlie Brown for sure.

TMD: Are you headed home for Christmas?

RS: No, I”m going skiing.

TMD: Where?

RS: Breckenridge (Colo.)

TMD: What is the most painful injury you”ve ever sustained skiing?

RS: I broke my hip. The chairlift ran into the support post and we fell 22 feet.

TMD: And you”re going to go skiing again?

RS: Of course. I”ve been going skiing for 15 years.

TMD: Did your friends make fun of you for breaking your hip? Isn”t that kind of a grandma injury?

RS: When you fall 20 feet and you land on your side, you”re going to break something.

TMD: Did you sue?

RS: Yeah.

TMD: Did you win?

RS: It”s still in court, actually.

TMD: What”s your roommate doing for Christmas?

RS: Nothing. Because he”s worthless. He”s from Detroit, the worst city in the world.

TMD: Would you celebrate Christmas if you were from Detroit?

RS: Probably not. I”d be too depressed.

TMD: Have you ever been to Detroit?

RS: I was there for a Red Wings game.

TMD: Are they going to win the cup this year?

RS: If hey don”t it”s pretty embarrassing, because they have all those good players.

UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE

TMD: If you had to eat Christmas dinner at Taco Bell, what would you eat?

RS: I”d probably get a gordito, or whatever they”re called No, that”s at Panchero”s I”ll take a gordita.

ROOMMATE IN THE BACKGROUND: What the Fuck?

TMD: Do you ever read the Daily?

RS: Some of the crime notes are pretty funny.

TMD: And finally, what”s the worst thing to get as a stocking stuffer?

RS: That”s a tough question. I don”t really like candy canes, those suck.

TMD: Was that a pun?

RS: No pun there.

TMD: OK then,

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