Ah, the Random Student Interview. Though it began as a creative
new addition to the magazine, it became an instant success with
students. In response to the high demand for more of the beauty
that is the Random, Weekend presents the best snippets of this
year’s interviews.


By Rebecca Ramsey

Interview with Jeff


TMD: Have you ever been told that you look like a

R: Um, my aunt once told me I look like Ricky Martin a

TMD: I’m sure she was lying. Do you like to wear
tight pants and shake your bon bon?

R: I only dance when I’m alone.


By Scott Serilla

Interview with Kimberly


TMD: If a fat 72-year-old pit bull of a man charges you
at full speed, what do you do?

R: Give him a cookie.

TMD: What? What if you are cookieless?

R: I don’t know. I always have a cookie.

TMD: That’s a very Boy Scout-y answer.

R: I was a Girl Scout.

TMD: What was your favorite merit badge?

R: The one we got for going and visiting nuns.

TMD: There’s a hanging-with-nuns merit badge? The Nunnery
merit badge?

R: I don’t know if we got a badge, but it was
exciting. They got us presents.

TMD: So much for the vow of poverty.


By Sean Dailey

Interview with Katie


TMD: OK, here’s a tougher one. With the intense
jingoism in the wake of 9/11 and our recent endeavor into Iraq, do
you think the United States is in danger of becoming too big of a

R: What do you mean by hegemon?

TMD: I don’t understand it either. Let’s keep
going. Puppies or kittens?


By Forest Casey

Interview with Darcy


TMD: Did you see the new “Lord of the Rings”

R: Of course, I was there opening night.

TMD: I thought it looked like one of those trashy Fabio
novels, especially at that part at the end where they’re
sailing away and hugging each other, you know?

R: I thought it was romantic.

TMD: Do you think when they pulled Saddam Hussein out of
his hole that he looked more like Nick Nolte, Fidel Castro, the
Unabomber or Santa Claus?

R: I would have to go with the Unabomber.

TMD: Oh, come on. He looked like Santa Claus. Like when
the troops found him, he was like, “Ho, Ho, Ho —
let’s see if you have been good boys and girls.” And
the troops are all like, “Nice try, Saddam.”

R: He had also been starved so he didn’t really
have the bowl full of jelly.


By Joel Hoard

Interview with Ben


TMD: Do you think NASA lets President Bush drive the Mars

R: If he wanted to, I’m sure they’d let him
drive it.

TMD: What do you think the legal limit is for driving the
Mars rover?

R: For George Bush, I’d say 0.2.

TMD: Did you watch the State of the Union address?

R: I did.

TMD: Did you see that Tom Brady was there? Do you think
he played catch with President Bush afterward?

R: Seeing that it was snowing outside and there were
major terrorist attacks, they probably played catch at the White
House — in the Oval Office.


By Scott Serilla

Interview with Courtney


TMD: What celebrities look most like your parents?

R: I’d say one of the Three Stooges looks most like
my dad. Probably Moe.

TMD: Does he have a bowl cut?

R: No, actually. He’s balding.

TMD: So shouldn’t we go with Larry then?

R: No, I’d still go with Moe.

TMD: What about your mom?

R: Umm, Jennifer Aniston.

TMD: What?! How does a Stooge end up with Jennifer

R: He’s a very nice guy.

TMD: Then there’s hope for me yet.


By Hussain Rahim

Interview with Laurie


TMD: So Easter’s coming up. Do you have any

R: Easter? I won’t be in school for Passover or for
Good Friday; I’ll tell you that. I’ll just be smoking
some pot.

TMD: I think Jesus would appreciate that.

R: Jesus was really down with the goods from the Earth.
I’ll tell you that.

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