The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Lauren there?
Random: Yes.
TMD: Hey, what’s up? I’m calling from The Michigan
Daily and you’ve been selected to do this week’s Random
Student Interview.
R: Sweet!
TMD: Yeah, do you got a few minutes?
R: Sure.
TMD: All right, first off: How was your fall break?
R: It was fabulous.
TMD: What did you do?
R: Just hung out with my family and went shopping and ate a lot
of food.
TMD: Did you make any of the food that you ate?
R: Yes, I did.
TMD: Did you bake a pie?
R: No, I made a cake actually. Chocolate chip.
TMD: Ooohh.
R: It was very good.
TMD: Did you go on any haunted hayrides or haunted houses or
stuff like that?
R: No, I didn’t.
TMD: Some of them are pretty scary. I don’t go on them
because I’m afraid of …tractors.
R: Hahaha, you’re afraid of tractors?
TMD: Yeah, little fear. First question: Who’s scarier:
Mini-Me or the Oompa-Loompas?
R: The Oompa-Loompas.
TMD: Because of that song?
R: Yeah, I think it’s maybe the orange face and the green
hair … I don’t know … I’ve always been a
little bit scared of them.
TMD: Yeah, they should show that instead of
“Halloween” or “Friday the 13.” Just show
the Oompa-Loompas and I wouldn’t sleep at night.
R: Hahaha.
TMD: Next question. Who’s the better captain: Captain
Crunch or Captain Morgan?
R: Um … Captain Morgan. I really don’t like Captain
Crunch.
TMD: What’s your favorite kind of cereal.
R: I’m a big fan of Special K.
TMD: Special K?!? That’s like the blandest cereal you can
buy!
R: Haha, I like it! It’s good.
TMD: So why not Total?
R: I don’t think I’ve ever tried Total.
TMD: You should try. It’s got all those vitamins and
nutrients and stuff.
R: Maybe the next time I do some grocery shopping, I’ll
pick up some Total.
TMD: And then you’ll think of me?
R: Yep.
TMD: Aww, you’re too kind. Have you ever seen that show
“Pimp My Ride” on MTV?
R: I have.
TMD: Now if Xzibit knocked on your door, would you freak out and
be like “OH MY GOD!” and then hug him and knock him
down and stuff?
R: No, I don’t think I would jump on Xzibit and hug him. I
would be happy, but I wouldn’t freak out.
TMD: Are you scared of Xzibit?
R: Maybe a little. I’m afraid of a lot of things.
TMD: Do you have a car that’s bad enough to be on
“Pimp My Ride?”
R: I have a ’94 Geo, so I think yes, I do.
TMD: Do you think they’d be able to pimp that out?
R: They could try. I’d like to see that.
TMD: Do you think there would be room for a Jacuzzi in the
back?
R: Maybe if they expanded it a little bit, maybe.
TMD: Just a little bit. Are you excited for Halloween?
R: I’m very excited.
TMD: Do you have a costume picked out yet?
R: Nope, I haven’t decided yet.
TMD: Last year, I wasn’t going to dress up, but I ended up
dressing up as a woman.
R: Really?
TMD: Yeah, it was uh … quite exciting to see.
R: I’m glad it worked out for you.
TMD: Oh yeah, it was great. So no ideas yet?
R: Um, no not yet.
TMD: You’re not going to go with the generic Scream
costume, are you?
R: Oh no no no.
TMD: What about Jessica Simpson?
R: Hmmm … I don’t know if I could pull that
off.
TMD: What about Ashley Simpson? That could be easier.
R: Maybe.
TMD: Do you do pranks on people for Halloween?
R: No, not usually.
TMD: Has anyone ever pranked you?
R: Not for Halloween. For April Fool’s Day, a couple of my
friends told everyone they hooked up and freaked us out and we
thought they were going out. It was all a big joke.
TMD: Wow, that sounds pretty scary.
R: Yeah.
TMD: Do you still go around and collect candy from people?
R: No, not anymore.
TMD: Didn’t you used to hate those people who gave away
pennies instead of candy?
R: I never got pennies. I used to get apples and health food and
stuff.
TMD: I got pennies every year. It was real depressing to come
home and find out I got 17 cents.
R: So not worth the time.
TMD: Exactly. What’s the better name for an alcoholic
drink: A Suck Me Beautiful or a Screaming Orgasm?
R: I’d go with the Screaming Orgasm.
TMD: Yeah, that would be great. Has anyone ever said to you
“I’ll give you a Screaming Orgasm?”
R: Haha, I don’t think anyone has ever said that to
me.
TMD: Has anyone ever said to you: “Suck Me
Beautiful?”
R: Haha, no.
TMD: Haha, you should try that sometime. What do you think will
come back in style first: the coonskin cap or the toga?
R: I hope neither.
TMD: Why not the toga?
R: Well, you could work that for Halloween. That would be
acceptable. Definitely not the coonskin cap.
TMD: But Daniel Boone wore one. Or was that Davy Crockett?
R: I really don’t know. I don’t think anyone should
strive to look like either of them.
TMD: Not a fan of the “Explorers of the Wilderness,”
are you? Who was a better old guy mentor: Mr. Feeny or Mr.
Miyagi?
R: Mr. Feeny.
TMD: Not Mr. Miyagi? He could teach you all those karate moves
and get his house redone at the same time.
R: I just love “Boy Meets World.”
TMD: So do I. Did you think Cory and Topanga were a better
couple than Zack and Kelly?
R: Yes, they were cuter. Maybe a little bit more realistic.
TMD: And Topanga never cheated on Cory like Kelly did!
R: Exactly!
TMD: That was horrible. When they broke up on Halloween, I
almost cried.
R: I’m sorry.
TMD: I got over it, though. They got back together.
R: Of course they did.
TMD: Who’s a cooler guy named Toby: Tobey Maguire or Toby
Keith?
R: Tobey Maguire.
TMD: Yeah, gotta go with Spiderman. What’s a better ode to
an animal: “Who Let The Dogs Out” or
“What’s New, Pussycat?”
R: I can’t say I like either of those songs.
TMD: Have you ever heard “What’s New,
Pussycat?”
R: I’m sure I have heard it at some point.
TMD: It goes like this: (singing) What’s new, pussycat?
Whoa whoa whoaaaaaa.
R: Haha, thank you. Yeah, I guess “Who Let The Dogs
Out” is a little bit more fun.
TMD: Just because my singing was that bad?
R: Yes, that’s exactly it.
TMD: Ouch.
R: I’m just kidding, you know that.
TMD: Yeah, I hope so. Maybe now you’ll never get your ride
pimped.
R: Haha, all because of that?
TMD: Yeah, me and Xzibit are boys. Which pet would you rather
have: Lassie or Curious George?
R: Curious George.
TMD: Yeah, unless you were stuck in a well, Lassie
couldn’t really do a lot for you. And Curious George …
I mean …
R: A smart little monkey.
TMD: And he had The Man in the Yellow Hat. Do you think The Man
in the Yellow Hat never got any women because he wore the yellow
hat?
R: Haha, it’s quite possible.
TMD: Do you think he should have wore something else?
R: Maybe like a normal baseball hat.
TMD: Yeah, like a backwards hat. He could wear it sideways.
R: Yeah, The Man in the Yellow Hat would go all ghetto.
TMD: Do you own an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot
bikini.
R: I do not. Yellow is not really my color.
TMD: What about polka dot?
R: Maybe.
TMD: What about the Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny part?
R: I do own a bikini.
TMD: Is it a two-piece or a one-piece?
R: Two.
TMD: Oh, because they don’t make one piece, do they?
Right! Well, thanks for doing this and look for it in Weekend on
Thursday.
R: Thank you.