The Michigan Daily: Hi, Is this Isaac?

Random: Yeah, who’s this?

TMD: Hi Isaac, you’ve been selected for the Daily’s Random Student Interview.

R: That’s wonderful.

TMD: Who would win in a fight: Tommy Amaker or Lloyd Carr?

R: I gotta go with Lloyd. I think he’s more seizing. Actually, no, Tommy Amaker would win. Didn’t Tommy win a national title as a player?

TMD: But Lloyd’s won one as a coach. Who knows?

Anyway, what is a better movie: “Harry Potter” or “Lord of the Rings?”

R: I haven’t seen “Lord of the Rings,” so I’m going with “Harry Potter.”

TMD: What do you look for in an ideal girl or guy? The Daily makes no presumption of anyone’s sexual orientation.

R: Strong biceps and size.

TMD: What’s your favorite book?

R: Total Baseball by Bill James. It’s my bible. It’s all stuff no fluff.

TMD: Have you ever had a fluffernutter sandwich?

R: Have I? I’m eating one right now.

TMD: Are you going to tonight’s basketball game?

R: Yeah, baby. We’re 7-6

TMD: Is Daniel Horton not much improved since the first six games?

R: I went to the game against Central Michigan and almost put a bag over my head.

TMD: What is a fillip?

R: A what? It’s a screwdriver or a 61-year-old man I call “dad.”

TMD: Actually, a fillip is the term for when one holds back his middle finger with his thumb and then lets it go, flicking someone. The definition of pusillanimous is?

R: Um, I know this one. Uh … alright, I’m stumped.

TMD: I believe it’s to be cowardly. Does that ring any bells?

R: Ring any bells? Was it in Harry Potter or Total Baseball?

TMD: Have you ever seen two animals copulating on one of those nature programs? If so, which were your favorites?

R: Yes, I liked watching snails. It’s incredible; they have their sex organs in their neck and they impregnate and get pregnant at the same time.

It’s like being in the middle part of a train.

TMD: That’s definitely going in the paper. Have you ever smoked drugs?

R: Yes.

TMD: Have you ever been strung out on the pot?

R: Yes.

TMD: What’s the weirdest thing that you did while on the pot?

R: I once ate Chinese food for three straight days, but weed doesn’t affect me much.

TMD: Have you ever been drunk?

R: I am right now. I’m drinking Miller Lite out of a can.

TMD: What’s your favorite beer?

R: I love all beer equally except for Red Dog, Miller High Life and Coors Extra Gold.

TMD: Do you have a girlfriend?

R: Yes.

TMD: How long have you been dating?

R: About six months.

TMD: What’s the nicest thing that you ever did for her?

R: I made her a three course meal and did all the dishes.

TMD: Have you ever heard of Tunji Awajobi?

R: No, I have no idea what that is.

TMD: Wager a guess as to who/ what that is.

R: Is it the Ojibwa teacher here?

TMD: No, Tunji used to play basketball at Boston University.

Can you break dance?

R: I’m afraid not.

I’ve always thought of taking classes, but I think that if you’re Jewish you have to start at the age of four to ever pick it up.

TMD: Are you proud of being Jewish?

R: Occasionally.

TMD: When? Hanukkah?

R: Yes.

TMD: What’s the better expression: “Word Life” or “Holla Back”?

R: Holla back, no question. I’ve just got a thing for double-l words that end in “a.”

Like “hella,” “holla” … hula spelled incorrectly, you know.

TMD: What’s your favorite type of music?

R: Do soundtracks count? Those then.

TMD: What is your favorite soundtrack?

R: “Aladdin.”

TMD: Favorite song on “Aladdin?”

R: Everybody’s favorite, “A Whole New World.”

Although, I do like that riff-raff, street rat refrain. I believe it’s number five. [Singing] Riff raff … street rat …

TMD: If you could make out with one celebrity, who would it be and why?

R: That’s a tough one. I’m gonna go with Jesus.

TMD: What’s the reason for that choice?

R: He looks like a really good cuddler.

TMD: What would your girlfriend say?

R: She’d be happy. She’s Catholic.

TMD: Would you be on “Joe Millionaire?”

R: Yeah, probably. As a girl or a guy? Yeah, I’d be on it.

TMD: What’s the difference between disorganized and unorganized?

R: Uh, disorganized is like a state and unorganized is an adjective.

TMD: Couldn’t you say “He’s disorganized”?

R: Yeah, I guess. What is the difference?

TMD: I don’t know. I’ve always wondered. That’s why I asked.

R: There is none.

TMD: When was the last time you engaged in tomfoolery?

R: Two nights ago. I was playing poker until the wee hours.

TMD: Did you win?

R: Yes, I always win. I won about $30. A friend of mine lost pretty early on, but he always loses early.

TMD: Nice. Anyway, that’s it. Thanks for your time. Bye.

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