Since its inception, the goal of the Random Student Interview has been to add a little dash of humor to Weekend Magazine. This year proved to be no different, as everything from Post-It notes to Chad Henne to Curious George were all discussed.

For anybody who hung up on us, didn’t want to do the interview or just didn’t answer the phone, you missed out on some good conversations. Here are some of our favorite moments from the year:

 

Random analyzes Nixon’s Stargate, Muppet sex scandal

By Doug Wernert

Sept. 16, 2004

TMD: OK, now if the “Muppet Babies” was really a soap opera, who would Miss Piggy have an affair with: Fozzy or Gonzo?

R: Both, at the same time. And one of the other little animals would be videotaping.

TMD: Now would the Swedish Chef have a role in this?

R: Yeah, he would be the pimp.

TMD: What would Kermit be doing?

R: I don’t know … he’d probably be knee-deep in a heroine addiction.

TMD: Yeah, that just makes sense.

 

Random likes Hanson’s charm

By Chris Gaerig

Sept. 30, 2004

TMD: What’s better than free peanut butter and jelly?

R: Free sex.

TMD: Free sex? I didn’t even think about that. I really don’t think anything could be better than free peanut butter and jelly. Alright though. We’ll move on.

 

Random professes love for Special K

By Doug Wernert

Oct. 21, 2004

TMD: Are you excited for Halloween?

R: I’m very excited.

TMD: Do you have a costume picked out yet?

R: Nope, I haven’t decided yet.

TMD: Last year, I wasn’t going to dress up, but I ended up dressing up as a woman.

R: Really?

TMD: Yeah, it was uh … quite exciting to see.

R: I’m glad it worked out for you.

 

Random gives props to 50 Cent

By Brandon Harig

Nov. 4, 2004

TMD: What dorm do you live in?

R: Markley.

TMD: Do you think it’s scary?

R: No.

TMD: So you haven’t seen any naked ghosts running around?

R: Nope, no naked ghosts.

TMD: When I lived in Markley I heard a lot of moaning and banging in the room next door. You ever hear that?

R: Um … No.

 

Random takes Marlin over Zeus

By Evan McGarvey

Jan. 13, 2005

TMD: So Michael Phelps: Huge-eared freak with a goofy smile or a potential beer pong partner? You choose.

R: Potential beer pong partner.

TMD: Do you think he’d use those long freakish arms to help you win or do you think his gold medals would accidentally knock over all the cups, causing a party foul?

R: I think he’d help me win by chugging all the beer. I think he’d be really good, considering the DUI and all that.

 

Random forgets jump rope song

By Doug Wernert

Jan. 20, 2005

TMD: Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

R: No.

TMD: Ten thousand soles were lost.

R: Really? Where?

TMD: Haha, you know … that was a joke! Soles … soles of shoes.

R: Haha, I can hear everyone laughing.

TMD: Well, that was a classic moment right there.

R: Wow, I’m a loser, OK.

 

Random won’t buy lotion for guys

By Evan McGarvey

Jan. 27, 2005

TMD: Now what would you give a boy for Valentine’s Day?

R: Oh god, I don’t know. It’s too hard to shop for boys.

TMD: Why?

R: I don’t know. If you’re shopping for a girl, you can just get them hand lotion or something.

TMD: You can’t give a guy hand lotion? Why not?

R: They don’t use it.

TMD: The guys I know use it.

R: Oh, god. I don’t want them using it for that.

 

Random has unsexy porn name

By Doug Wernert

Feb. 17, 2005

TMD: What do you think the better skill is: breakdancing or knife-throwing?

R: Breakdancing.

TMD: But what if you were being attacked? Do you think you could ward them off with breakdancing?

R: Yeah, did you ever see “Napoleon Dynamite?” You just sidekick him.

TMD: What’s so good about that movie?

R: There’s no point to it. It’s just stupid humor.

TMD: It’s kind of like this interview then, isn’t it?

R: Yep.

 

Random thinks Martha ruled jail

By Josh Holman

March 10, 2005

TMD: We’re going to conclude the interview with a couple deep philosophical questions that I actually just pulled off the Internet.

R: All right, that’s fine. Now it could be deep, ya know?

TMD: The first one, actually, is why is there something, rather than nothing?

R: (Long contemplative silence) Because if there wasn’t something, how would we know?

TMD: Wow, deep.

R: Yeah, I know.

TMD: The second one — do we have free will?

R: (More silence) Well I saw the movie “Free Willy,” so I’m going to say yes.

TMD: But he got away at the end though, didn’t he?

R: (laughter) Yeah, I know.

 

Random likes Alfred and tai-chi

By Doug Wernert

March 17, 2005

TMD: Would a good pickup line for me to use when I’m approaching a nice lady be: Hi, I’m a writer for The Michigan Daily?

R: Yes, but I think you should expand on that more. Like “I’m a writer for The Michigan Daily … and I’m really good in bed … and you have nice eyes.” Throw out your GPA, maybe.

TMD: Yeah, my GPA is not really that high, though.

R: Well, maybe she can relate.

TMD: Yeah, maybe she’s dumb, too.

R: Yeah, hopefully.

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