TMD: Hello, is Heather there?

R: Um, no she’s not, can I take a message?

TMD: This is Brandon from the Michigan Daily. Would you be
interested in doing the Random Student Interview?

R: Is it for Heather or …

TMD: It’s for anybody who wants to do it, if you want to
do it that’s good. It’s random … That’s
why …

R: Sure.

TMD: Did you vote today?

R: No.

TMD: You didn’t? Why not?

R: I’m not a citizen.

TMD: You’re not a citizen?

R: No.

TMD: Where are you a citizen?

R: Croatia.

TMD: Do you like the United States?

R: Um. Yeah, I do.

TMD: If you could vote for anyone, who would you vote for?

R: Definitely Kerry.

TMD: Does Croatia love Kerry?

R: Hm?

TMD: Does Croatia love Kerry?

R: Well they don’t like Bush, so …

TMD: Could Kerry carry around a sign that says “Croatia
for Kerry?”

R: Probably.

TMD: Who would you rather be the president of Croatia? Kerry or
the current guy?

R: Uhhhhhh … I … I don’t know. I don’t
know enough about the president of Croatia. I’m thinking that
probably Kerry could. He has, um, well, an international policy
Croatia needs to have.

TMD: So you’re saying if Kerry loses tonight, he can go to
Croatia and run for president?

R: Maybe.

TMD: Do you follow Michigan football?

R: Um, not very much. I do know we won against State.

TMD: Did you watch it?

R: No. I … no.

TMD: What were you doing?

R: I was home hanging out with the parents.

TMD: Where’s home?

R: Grand Rapids, Michigan. Forest Hills.

TMD: Oh, I’m from Kentwood.

R: Oh, sweet. I know people …

TMD: We have so much in common!

R: Yeah, we do.

TMD: What’s your favorite CD this year?

R: Lhasa.

TMD: And is that country?

R: No it’s ummm … Spanish, French, American
indie-pop type thing.

TMD: So it’s like country.

R: No, it’s not at all. You need to hear it, though.
It’s good.

TMD: So they sound like Garth Brooks?

R: No, it sounds like … Norah —

TMD: 50 Cent?

R: No.

TMD: So it sounds like you’re pretty gung-ho about John
Kerry. Who do you think is more deserving of a Purple Heart? John
Kerry or 50 Cent?

R: Well 50 Cent did … didn’t he get shot a couple
times?

TMD: He got shot NINE times.

R: Probably, I dunno. I’d have to say 50 Cent. If you get
shot nine times and survive, that’s a lot of props.

TMD: Do you know who William Shatner is?

R: Yeah.

TMD: Did you hear he came out with an album?

R: No.

TMD: Do you think you’re going to buy it?

R: Probably not.

TMD: Is that what Lhasa sounds like?

R: No.

TMD: They don’t sound like Shatner?

R: No.

TMD: What’s your hardest class and why’s the
professor such an ass?

R: All my classes are really easy, actually. I’d have to
say English and he’s not an ass.

TMD: Nicole Kidman — she’s naked with a 10-year-old
in her new movie. Is that a good career move?

R: Um, I don’t know where it’s set. Is it like,
they’re gonna do it?

TMD: They’re naked in a bath tub.

R: 10-year old … Naked … It’s probably not the
best career move, but …

TMD: Would it be worse if it was a nine-year-old? Did she
overstep that boundary?

R: I think it would be worse if it was a ten-year-old and they
were gonna do it, but if it’s just them kicking back

TMD: So if they’re just hanging around naked and
it’s only implied they’re going to do it, that’s
okay, but if they’re doing it it’s not?

R: Right.

TMD: What dorm do you live in?

R: Markley.

TMD: Do you think it’s scary?

R: No.

TMD: So you haven’t seen any naked ghosts running
around?

R: Nope, no naked ghosts.

TMD: When I lived in Markley I heard a lot of moaning and
banging in the room next door. You ever hear that?

R: Um … No.

TMD: Yeah. Alright. There’s been a lot of rumors before
the election from both sides. What’s the craziest claim
you’ve heard?

R: Oh, that Kerry is gay.

TMD: Like what gay?

R: Like him and John Edwards gay.

TMD: Not like 10-year-old boy in a bathtub gay, OK. I heard if
John Kerry wins, he’ll set Saddam free and give him Rhode
Island as an apology for the whole Iraq thing.

R: Yeah I don’t think that’s true.

TMD: Good, because Rhode Island seems like a nice place. What do
you think of the Greek proposal of making parties BYOB?

R: Like what?

TMD: Like you’d have to bring your own six-pack of crappy
beer.

R: Oh, that would suck. I mean, I don’t drink …
beer …

TMD: Wait, you hesitated there. You worried about your parents
finding out?

R: (nervous laughter) No … I mean yeah. I just
don’t drink… beer…

TMD: When was the last time you threw up?

R: A long time ago.

TMD: Be honest … It was last weekend, wasn’t
it?

R: It’s been a while.

TMD: Or you just don’t remember last weekend? From all the
cheap frat beer you don’t drink?

R: Noooooo … I don’t drink … Not beer, anyway.

TMD: One of our weekend writers, Andrew Gaerig, wrote a column
about the pervy look. Have you every given the pervy look?

R: The what?

TMD: The look a girl gives a guy when he says he likes her pants
but she thinks he means her butt so she gives him that look like go
screw yourself … Have you ever given that look?

R: Oh, yeah. Probably because I don’t like people staring
at my butt.

TMD: What about if they open the door for you but then look at
your butt as you go through it?

R: That’s OK.

TMD: OK, thanks. This will be in the paper tomorrow. Have a good
night.

R: Thanks.

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