The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Hillary there?

Random: This is she.

TMD: You have been selected for the Random Student
Interview.

R: No kidding!

TMD: Seriously. Are you down for it?

R: Absolutely. I’m game.

TMD: If I wore a shirt that said “Kiss Me,
I’m Irish,” would you do it?

R: Absolutely, why not?

TMD: That’s great. Because I’m wearing one
right now.

R: Well, come on over.

TMD: I’ll be right there, but I have to finish this
interview first. Do you like bangers and mash?

R: What’s that?

TMD: I’m asking the question here. Yes or no?

R: Ok, I’ll have to say … possibly.

TMD: Which dance instructor is cooler, Wade Robson or
Darren from “Darren’s Dance Grooves?”

R: I’ll have to go with Darren because he has a
cooler name.

TMD: Do you know how to do the pop-and-lock?

R: The pop-and-lock?

TMD: It was on Darren’s Dance Grooves!

R: No, how do you do it?

TMD: It’s a very complicated move involving moving
around and popping your shoulders and locking.

R: But you have to be double jointed or something for
that, don’t you?

TMD: Not how Darren does it.

R: Darren’s the man, though. How do you know about
this?

TMD: I work for Daily Arts. We know a lot of things. Did
you see that clip on CNN a while ago where some breakdancers
performed for the Pope?

R: No, is that a true story?

TMD: Yes, that is a true story. What do you think the
Pope thought about it?

R: I bet inside it was tearing him apart.

TMD: Breakdancing was tearing the Pope apart?

R: Yeah, why not?

TMD: If someone used a pickup line on you, would you go
out with them?

R: If it was a creative one. If it wasn’t like
“I’ll be your daddy mac,” I think I’d go
with it.

TMD: Let me tell you that I can dance really well.

R: What can you do that could impress me?

TMD: I can do the pop-and-lock.

R: No, you can’t.

TMD: Yes, I can.

R: Where does this go? Is this some little thing or in a
newspaper or what?

TMD: Yes, this is the Daily. We’re a newspaper.

R: How do you pick people to do it?

TMD: Just randomly. That’s why it’s the
Random Student Interview. Let’s talk politics … do you
think George Washington had a nice smile?

R: I mean, he’s on the dollar bill. That’s
not bad. He should show his pearly whites more often.

TMD: You are aware he had wooden teeth, aren’t
you?

R: Haha, no. Can you like use a different name, like a
pseudo-name? I wouldn’t want to disgrace my name.

TMD: What name would you like us to use?

R: What’s a hot name? What name should I use?

TMD: Like Alexis?

R: Sure, Alexis sounds hot.

TMD: Let’s go with that. Who was your favorite
father figure on “Full House:” Danny, Jesse or Uncle
Joey?

R: Uncle Jesse. He was sexy.

TMD: You thought Uncle Jesse was sexy?

R: Oh yeah … oh man … are you kidding? He
has sideburns going for him.

TMD: What job do you think is the worst possible job you
could ever have?

R: Hmmmm … worst job … Port-a-Potty
cleaner-outer … that’s what my roommate said.

TMD: So you’re going to go with Port-a-Potty
cleaner-outer?

R: No, let me get back to you. Next question.

TMD: What song is more annoying: “Who Let the Dogs
Out” or “The Macarena?”

R: I think “Toxic.”

TMD: Why don’t you like “Toxic”?

R: The words just kind of get annoying. And that
“Milkshake” song, but I think they retired it on
“TRL.”

TMD: You know about P. Diddy’s group, right?

R: What group?

TMD: It’s called Da Band. It’s a rap group.
Do you think Da Band is the worst name for a group ever?

R: Yeah, that is pretty lame … kind of vague,
don’t you think?

TMD: Yeah, I mean … they’re not even a band!
If something was cool, would you say it was “sexy” or
would you say it was “all that and a bag of potato
chips?”

R: Oh, sexy, for sure.

TMD: So is “sexy” the new cool word to
use?

R: It’s not the cool word to use. You say what you
want. You say what you feel. You say what’s in the
moment.

TMD: You sound like a Hallmark card. Well, thanks for
doing this. Look for it in Weekend.

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