Contrary to popular belief, not everything with a big budget and even bigger names supporting that budget is necessarily going to be of good quality. There are plenty of big-time hyped up stinkers in the entertainment industry. In the movie world, Star Wars: Episode I was a prime example of this (Jar-Jar Binks? Are you serious?!?). In music, New York”s reigning king DJ Clue takes the stale fruit-cake award for the wackest hip-hop album featuring guest appearances from everyone and their baby”s mother.

Paul Wong
Kyle Chandler and Joan Cusack are too cute for TV in ABC”s “”About Joan.”” Awwwww.<br><br>Courtesy of ABC

The Professional: Part 2 is Clue”s second venture into the commercial release of his “mixtapes.” For years he has been releasing mix joints that you could only find in the back of a trunk, or in the “mom & pop” neighborhood record stores. In “98, he gained notoriety from the original Professional record, which featured the widely acclaimed “Ruff Ryder”s Anthem” remix by DMX. It seems that ever since the release of that record, rap fans everywhere have become accustomed to his signature cry, “Clue!!” on as-yet-unreleased tracks. His newest release, however, presents a number of problems.

First off, he is passing this off as a “mixtape,” when it is actually a compilation album. Not an ounce of mixing or scratching can be heard on this record. Passing off full-length albums as mixes seems to be commonplace with former grimy underground DJ”s-cum-super-popular MTV icons. Next, Clue somehow successfully botched an album containing the most prominent artists in hip-hop. Seriously, if you name any rapper that has gone platinum in the last three years, chances are they are on this record. It”s the production from Clue and his cohort Duro that leaves so much to be desired. They successfully ruin the sound that we often equate with certain artists (“Cream 2001″ by Rae and Ghost is blasphemous at best). Even otherwise impressive flows from the likes of Royce Da 5″9” and Nas are tainted by lackluster beats. Impressive is the Mary J. Blige remake of the “80s Soul II Soul hit “Back to Life,” and the Jay-Z “Change the Game” remix featuring the reunited Dogg Pound.

What”s the worst thing about the DJ Clue album? DJ Clue himself. He can single handedly jack any song by constantly screaming his damn signature over the record. “Clueminatti!!!” “Desert Storm!” I fail to believe that no one in his entourage has yet to tell him that it is highly bothersome to be riding the vibe of a song only to hear his high-pitched voice in the middle of a hook. Clue, we know who you are, and we know what label you are on, so do us a favor and shut the hell up! If you have some knock in your car, and you really need a hip-hop album to tide you over, then maybe this will whet your appetite. If I could go back in time, though, I would utilize Napster and my CD burner so I could put the 15.95 I spent towards something more profitable. I suggest you burn it too.

Grade: C-

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