Michigan State 21

Michigan 14

Before every football game this season, two of the Daily football writers will take the weekend’s matchup to the PlayStation 2.

For this week’s matchup, coach Joe Smith led the Spartans and David Horn took the helm for the Wolverines.

Play of the game – Just four seconds into the game, Michigan QB No. 16 attempted a wide receiver screen to WR No. 9, but the pass was knocked down behind the line of scrimmage by Michigan State CB No. 21. Ruled a fumble by referees, CB No. 21 picked up the loose ball and ran it into the end zone to give the Spartans an early 7-0 lead.

Most unrealistic play of the game – Michigan not only converted on fourth down, but converted for a touchdown.

Player of the game – Reluctantly, the game ball has go go to Michigan State CB No. 21, whose defensive awareness led to a touchdown that proved to be the difference. Michigan CB No. 30 gets some props for his two INTs.

Michigan State key stats

Passing: QB No. 9 – 9-18, 206 yards, 2 TD, 3 INTs

Rushing: RB No. 49 – 12 carries, 37 yards QB No. 7 – 2 carries, 22 yards

Receiving: TE No. 44 – 4 receptions, 96 yards, 2 TDs; WR No. 9 – 2 receptions, 44 yards

Defense: MLB No. 48 – 6 tackles; CB No. 21 – 1 fumble recovery, 4 tackles; LOLB No. 44 – 2 tackles for loss

Michigan key stats

Passing: QB No. 16 – 18-40, 226 yards, 2 TD

Rushing: RB No. 23 – 12 carries, 44 yards

Receiving: TE No. 83 – 7 receptions, 93 yards; WR No. 9 – 3 receptions, 59 yards; WR No. 27 – 3 reception, 29 yards, 1 TD

Defense: LE No. 92 – 3 tackles for loss, CB No. 30 – 2 INTs

Press conference quotes:

Michigan State head coach Joe Smith: Phew! At least I can count on my team showing up for one game a year – and to my bosses that’s all that matters. So to all those haters and creators of www.firebobbywilliams.com, eat that! You’ll get to see plenty of me for a while, don’t you worry.

Some people might say that re-instating QB No. 9 for the game is unethical, but I’d rather call it clever coaching. No one expected QB No. 9 to come right out of nowhere and onto the field, did they? He had trouble catching his breath for parts of the first half, and I had to take him out. Darn kids.

I was licking my chops when I didn’t see CB No. 3 matched up on receiver WR No. 1, but this damn CB No. 30 character played a tremendous game. Although he was holding WR No. 1 all game, I’ll give him partial credit for the two interceptions.

For those of you media folk who liked to overhype mine and coach Horn’s “non-existant” and “cold” relationship, I decided to play into your hands. I never shook coach Horn’s hand at the end of the game, gave him the uncomfortable chair for the sidelines and proceeded to kick him out of the Big House (my Geddes Ave. apartment) immediately afterwards.

I dared coach Horn to kick field goals. I even triple-dog dared him. But he’d always cower away, preferring to go for every fourth down on this side of the Mississippi. Maybe he should have listened – he was 1-for-8.

Anyone else want to complain about the damn timekeeper? Didn’t think so.

Michigan head coach David Horn: I need to tell a story. Last year, coach Smith and I wrote for The Michigan Daily, and we covered the basketball team. There was a weekday game in West Lafayette that neither of us wanted to go to (midterms and whatnot), so we settled who would go by a game of Madden. He had the Bucs. I had the Broncos. Winning by three with time ticking away, I handed the ball off to Terrell Davis. Again to Davis. Again to Davis. My man was pounding it away, and Smith’s chances of a Tuesday night in West Lafayette were looking good. Then with less than a minute to go, on what would have been his second-to-last carry of the game, Davis pulled a Michigan HB No. 32 and coughed up the rock! Derrick Brooks picked it up and returned it to pay dirt for the lead and the game.

Ironically, this time around the fumble fiasco happened on the first, rather than the last, play of the game. No matter – coach Smith is clearly a lucky turnover away from being a worse PlayStation player than me. I don’t know which is worse – the indignity of a Procrastination Station defeat, or eating Wendy’s off I-65 at 2 a.m. in the middle of February.

I don’t like the “Pass Mode” to be on “quick.” I like it on “normal.” It was on “quick” and I forgot to turn it off, and that first pass was released too quickly. Not that I like to make excuses.

WR No. 1 is stupid and ugly and made at least three plays that a Superman-Jesus Christ-Randy Moss menage a trois love child, playing in zero-gravity, could not have made.

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