Sloan is your ex-girlfriend. They are the girl you dated for a while and really liked, but then she started to annoy you, things fell apart, and you had to dump her.

Paul Wong
If you ask me, he doesn”t look like a monkey.<br><br>Courtesy of Miramax

There were the early days of your relationship, when you were just starting to get to know one another (the Peppermint EP, Smeared) and things were a bit awkward, but still very promising (“Underwhelmed,” “500 Up”). As you got into things a little more, there was your first kiss (“I Am the Cancer”). Then things got serious, and you proudly announced your relationship to the world (Twice Removed). Life got exciting (“Coax Me”) and emotional (“I Can Feel It”) the future was looking good and you hoped things would only get better.

And they did (One Chord to Another). Problems occasionally cropped up between the two of you (“Junior Panthers”), but the good times (“Everything You”ve Done Wrong,” “The Lines You Amend”) were so good that the little differences were easily overlooked. Things got slightly rockier as your relationship aged and got more complex (Navy Blues) but you held on. The relationship was still strong (“Sinking Ships,” “Money City Maniacs”) and you hoped your love would grow in new and interesting ways.

Sadly, instead of interesting they gave you boring (4 Nights at the Palais Royale), and then all of Sloan”s actions were simply sad reminders of how long ago the good times were beginning to seem. Thus, began the end (Between the Bridges). Sloan still had its charm (“The N.S.,” “Delivering Maybes”), but those good times weren”t as good as they used to be and the bad times (“Friendship,” and nearly all of Between the Bridges” lyrics) were more than you could take the breakup was a long time coming.

So, things between you and Sloan ended, and you moved on to new relationships (Neutral Milk Hotel, the White Stripes). Occasionally you would reminisce over the little things you missed about the fun you”d had with Sloan (Those melodies! Those hooks! Interesting backing vocals!), but those days were over now and you didn”t heard from Sloan for a long time. Eventually, despite the ensuing relationships and your lack of communication, you got curious about Sloan and how it was doing these days. By chance, Sloan called you (Pretty Together) and the two of you arranged to meet for dinner.

When you arrived at the restaurant, you found that Sloan had gotten more ugly (“Pick It Up and Dial It”) and annoying (“In the Movies”) than ever. Sure, some of its old charm survived (“The Life of a Working Girl”), but still you were reassured that dumping them was the right thing to do.

Maybe someday Sloan will come to their senses. You could reconcile your differences and get back together but as of now, things aren”t looking too good

Grade: C+

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