In a whirling set of events early this morning, President Bush declared war on Japan, Argentina, France, most of Africa and Oklahoma. This follows declarations of war last week on Spain, Portugal and the Upper Peninsula.

“UPers” are fleeing to Canada.

Bush said it is very likely that Canada will be the Unites States’ next target for the war on terror. “Make no mistake about it. There’s never a day when I do not give an order in this global war against a scattered network of killers.”

Following Bush’s bombing of the Upper Peninsula, University students and members of

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