By Superman

It may not be Saturday morning, but you know what, give me Luda and all of his bows. Yeah, Superman is pretty white, but so is Eminem and he can pull it off.

Luda and I go way back, all the way to Atlanta. It all started when one of his hoes in another area code was in trouble. Luda wanted this booty bad, so Supa (that’s what he calls me) came through. I saved her from some guy humping her leg in a club, and Luda got what he wanted, luscious booty and beauty.

But that’s not even the point; Luda spits some good lyrics. Is he 2Pac? No, but who is? Batman you’re a liar if you’re saying you didn’t like “Roll Out,” “Saturday,” or “Southern Hospitality.” Plus, he’s funny and can make you laugh or make you cry (see “Growing Pains”).

Batman, I know you’re going to pretend like you’re more street than Luda. Sure, I believe that as much as Melinda from “The Real World” not doing fewer than 20 dudes. Ratman (zing), I know you rock to ABBA, and – when you’re feeling really hard – some Nickelback.

Give me Luda and his smooth southern style, and you can keep Celine Dion.

Holla at Hill.

 

By Batman

Hate to break it to everyone who’s hoping to see me at Hill Auditorium tonight for the Ludacris concert, but Batman will not be in attendance.

Don’t get me wrong. I like rap music. On weekends, I’ve been known to shout out “Whoop, there it is” with Ironman and The Green Lantern. I own NWA CDs and I could even easily pass as a member of Wu-Tang. There’s like 35 members anyway, so I can easily blend in.

Reason No 1. you won’t find me there: the price. Do you have any idea how expensive it is to keep up that manor? The Batmobile doesn’t fuel itself, you know. If I have an extra 30 bucks laying around, you’ll find me at the bar doing Jaeger bombs.

Also, while Ludacris is a pretty cool guy, I can’t bring myself to see him in concert. Sure, that “Move” song is catchy (and very appropriate when I’m stuck in traffic behind cars that go 150 mph less than me), but he doesn’t have enough hit songs to keep me interested.

Superman, I know you’ll probably be there waving around your cell phone and thinking you’re all cool. While you fight the mild crowd, I’ll be content watching “Survivor,” checking for the Bat signal and relishing in the fact that I’m not sitting next to some lame frat guys who think “Pimpin’ All Over the World’ is their theme song.

 

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