By Batman

Justice desires three things: honesty, bravery and a goddamned bowl win every few years.

Now I completely understand those cooler heads who would sit idly by, making no criticisms of the University’s head football coach. You are a cowardly lot, just as easily spooked by vengeance sweeping through the night as you are of strong, well thought-out opinions.

Well I’ve got news for you all: Batman is sick of Lloyd Carr and more than willing to take on all comers. Perennial recruiting classes arrive with a handful of future NFL starters scattered amongst men who will still make All-Big Ten rosters by the end of their careers. Ridiculous financial resources and global reach that would render Wayne Enterprises envious isn’t just a leg up, it’s both feet over the fence.

But what does us in? Namby-pamby play-calling and an ethos of “we’ll get ’em next time.” I’ll say what must be said:

Lloyd Carr needs to go.

The era of “Michigan Men” has ended. People talk of Michigan as if the team is a walking ghost, consumed with the past, living off past victories like a feeble king. Carr seems too clean a man to exist in the dirty, dirty pool of college football these days. Michigan is not Harvard, the “successful” student-athlete is a myth and victory is the only true badge of accomplishment.

Power comes from winning, from championships and crushing opponents with a modern onslaught of spread passing attacks, crushing tackles and a bloodthirsty game plan.

Until true, uncompromising greatness assumes the mantle of football leadership, the voices of dissension will not cease. Remember complacent “fans,” the eyes of the night are upon you.


By Superman

Oh, oh, such a big surprise to see Batman hating on Lloyd. It honestly makes me sick that Batman – fucking Batman – of all people is complaining.

He needs to worry about Gotham City and keeping Robin happy (yeah, wink wink fellas, we all know you’re just “living” together), not the Michigan football team.

Batman is the same guy who once struggled defeating Mr. Freeze and The Riddler. Like he’s one to talk of not living up to expectations.

The man is given anything he wants and needs, plus a little sidekick, and he still can’t keep his city safe. This is the ultimate pot calling the kettle black. Lloyd’s definitely done a much better job than you, twinkle toes.

Carr is 97-27 in 10-plus seasons here and by the way, he’s won Michigan football’s only national championship since 1948. Yup, read that again, one in more than 50 years.

He also has five 10-win seasons and five Big Ten championships. Is that not good enough for you, Bruce Wayne? He also has run a clean program, never having to deal with NCAA allegations.

True, a problem here or there with a player (I’m looking at you Larry Harrison), but he can’t control all the intricacies of a college-aged male.

After reading all these, it looks as if he’s done almost as good a job as me. Plus, he has the desire that you seem to forget. At the beginning of the season he said it perfectly – “No one wants to win more than me.”

You know what, flying rat? That’s good enough for me.

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