The Pilgrims stopped in Plymouth to make beer, the Judeo-Christian deity is not omnibenevolent, Annie Oakley came within a few inches of preventing World War I, Valentine”s Day was a Roman orgy, Marijuana is less dangerous than tobacco, the first porn-star helped invent cell phones, the creator of Wonder Woman invented the lie detector, mad cow disease will never be diagnosed in the U.S., King Arthur had connections to steppe nomads, the Confederacy pioneered medical sterilization, Fred Durst once appeared in a porn film, Upton Sinclair didn”t care about food quality, the Christian bible views touching a pig”s skin on Sunday as a worse offense than homosexuality, some African monkeys use mooning as their primary defensive technique and people like George W. Bush because intellectualism is not an American value.

Seth Fisher

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