In a move that surprised just about everyone who watches Monday Night Raw, Michigan All-American Otto Olson declared yesterday that he is leaving school to enter the WWF. Olson went on to say that he plans to face WWF superstar Triple H on “Smackdown!” next week.
“It”s always been my dream to wrestle on Smackdown!,” the standout 174-pounder said. “Actually, it”s always been my dream to get with that fine piece of ass Trish Stratus, but first I have to kick the crap out of Triple H.”
Olson”s announcement left Michigan coach Joe McFarland visibly shaken. McFarland has worked long and hard to get the Wolverines among the nation”s elite, so losing his best wrestler is a huge blow.
“Fucking ass,” McFarland said. “You”ve got to be kidding me. Triple H has to go at least 270, 280, right? Where does Otto get off thinking he can take down The Game? He doesn”t even have a cool finishing move that can”t possibly hurt as much as they make it look, like the Rock Bottom or the Stone Cold Stunner.”
Triple H, a.k.a. Hunter Hearst Helmsley, was in some hick town in Alabama getting ready for an “arena event”, like they always try and get people to buy tickets for on “Raw is War”. But, that didn”t stop him from firing the first of many choreographed, completely-fake insults at Olson.
First, The Game dumped a bottle of water on his ratty blonde locks. Then, he started inhaling and exhaling forcefully, while glaring at the camera. Finally, he spit water at the camera and growled, “The Game hears that some punk-ass college kid wants to leave school and step up to the big leagues. As if that”s not bad enough, he”s got the audacity to come out and challenge The Game. Does he know what he”s getting in to? The Game says, “Bring it!!”
Longtime WWF announcer Jim Ross was stunned by the developments.
“Good god, that”s Otto Olson”s music!,” Ross screamed. “What in the hell? Business has just picked up in here!! The Game just got screwed again!”