Diddy, don’t leave us

Everyone’s favorite rapper/producer may be calling it
quits. According to E! online, Diddy will be following in the
footsteps of the Jigga-man. Diddy said that he will probably leave
the rap game behind after his upcoming album, PD5.

Diddy will now have to continue his career of appearing at
events as well as producing singles while contributing the
appropriate “yeahs” and “uh huhs.” P. Diddy
was not reached for comment.


3 fast, still awful

Just when it got safe to go back into the theaters, the
Hollywood Reporter says that Universal green-lit a third
“Fast and the Furious.” Unfortunately, Paul Walker may
be MIA.

Vin Diesel, who was too “big” for the first sequel,
is returning to the franchise that launched his star. His addition
should help to compensate for the loss of Walker … as it is
still sure to suck. P. Diddy could not be reached for comment.


Anger management

Jack White, best known as the lead singer of the White Stripes,
is also a badass. After beating the crap out of Jason Stollseimer,
lead singer of the Von Bondies, White was arrested in December.

E! reports that White has plea-bargained to anger management
therapy. While White can continue his complaining about being
famous in group sessions, Stollseimer has to deal with the
lingering effects of the attack and a floundering new album. P.
Diddy could not be reached for comment.

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