Rule 75: If you never find time to cook, stop taking up fridge space with your moldy fruits and vegetables.
Rule 76: Whether it’s Christmas lights or a Hanukkah bush, it’s time to take your holiday decorations down.
Rule 77: No matter how relevant you think stories from your life are to the week’s required reading, your English class doesn’t care to hear them.
– E-mail rule submissions to TheStatement@umich.edu