Rule 75: If you never find time to cook, stop taking up fridge space with your moldy fruits and vegetables.

Rule 76: Whether it’s Christmas lights or a Hanukkah bush, it’s time to take your holiday decorations down.

Rule 77: No matter how relevant you think stories from your life are to the week’s required reading, your English class doesn’t care to hear them.

– E-mail rule submissions to

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