rule 75: Knowing all of Britney’s trauma is fine if you also keep up with real news.

rule 76: Your Facebook status is not an appropriate place to tell your friends you’re angry with them.

rule 77: Even though the sun has been down for hours, 8 p.m. is still too early to start doling out shots. 9 p.m. isn’t.

– E-mail rule submissions to

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