Make no mistake, the 1/2 star is simply for the music; the same music that John Carpenter swore saved his 1978 exploitation-fest (and classic) “Halloween” from monotony. As the seventh sequel, “Halloween: Resurrection” serves up ample ladles full of the eerie piano-mantra that indicates the presence of titular (or tired or whatever) boogyman Michael Myers. If you really like the music, buy the soundtrack. To the original, not to this afterbirth.
But wait, didn’t Jamie Lee Curtis return after 20 years to decapitate Myers in 1998s “Halloween: H20?” This is cleaned up in the prologue, with Curtis returning for a cameo. She, of course, simply cut off the wrong guy’s head. That’s all, move along, wrong guy’s head, it’s a slasher franchise from the ’80s: Consistency is for the weak.
Actually, the first five minutes are, while not good, at least an entertaining throwback to those simple gore-fests of the Reagan era. Michael stalks his sister (Curtis) through a mental institution and they have a show-down on the roof. She almost outsmarts him, but his brawn (re: butcher knife) wins the day. If the movie had ended there (just before the opening credits), at least I wouldn’t have felt any dumber walking out of the theater.
Enter Busta Rhymes.
The rapper/producer/actor/felon plays an internet entrepreneur with the latest internet sensation: Sending people into the home of Michael Myers to see if they survive the night! On camera! If those two sentences seem dumb to you, imagine how much mileage director Rick Rosenthal gets out of his killer premise. About as much as I got out of that pun.
Rosenthal, best known for botching the series to begin with as the director of “Halloween 2,” does little to remove the stench from his reputation. He places a handful of attractive kids in the house and gives them all the personality you can fit into a sentence. Blondie wants to be a star! The black guy cooks! The guy from “American Pie” (Thomas Ian Nichols) is … killed first.
The director films as if he’s only been told about other “Halloween” movies and is clumsy trying to “scare” people by suddenly bringing the killer into the shot. He may have had an easy time flashing a sign across the screen that simply said “Be Scared.”
No one watching “Halloween: Resurection” will be, but at least he’d be doing something productive.