When the biggest personality on a show is some dude from New Jersey trying to start a business called “Johnny Meatballs,” the point of desperation has clearly been reached.

“My Big Friggin’ Wedding”

Mondays at 9 p.m.
VH1

VH1’s latest reality programming endeavor follows five couples on the verge of their wedding night. We follow them as they fight, whine, nag and completely disagree about every single aspect of their weddings, families and lives in general. This show is literally “Jersey Shore” meets “Bridezillas,” but not in a good way. Everything we hated about both of these shows, from whiny girls to trashy guys, is amplified by five in order to make this one seem “original.”

The network picked not one, but five of the most obnoxious couples ever to be the “stars” on “My Big Friggin’ Wedding.” Couple one, Johnny and Megin, are pregnant and broke because Johnny doesn’t work. Instead, he hopes to get “Johnny Meatballs” off the ground by designing lackluster t-shirts for hours on end when he should be looking for a real job. Couple two is Tyler and Aylssa, embarrassingly sloppy drunks who make unnerving sexual comments in front of their two-year-old daughter. Couple three is Joey and Sandra, whose biggest means of preparation for the wedding is to go tanning, over and over again. Tammie and Danny, the fourth couple, seem the most “normal” until Tammie opens her mouth – she literally doesn’t stop talking about herself the entire time she is on the show. Finally, Matt and Amanda are the pair with the wacko Italian mother-in-law who can’t keep her nose out of everyone’s business. These self-proclaimed “awesome” couples are the lovely people we get to follow for an entire season of wedding planning bliss – lucky us.

While it can be slightly amusing to watch people bitch each other out, the biggest issue with “My Big Friggin’ Wedding” is that it’s all-too-clearly riding on the success of TV’s “Jersey” obsession. It doesn’t try to present anything new or interesting about New Jersey, but rather takes the pre-existing stereotypes and tries way too hard to find people who match them. Excessive tanning, binge drinking and screaming girls — all stereotypes taken from “Jersey Shore” — are the fuel that makes this wedding show run.

What’s worse is the question of why the couples would ever want to be on this show in the first place. VH1 constantly mocks them with cheesy graphics and commentary that’s clearly directed toward a trashy Jersey mentality. The producers edit the show to make everyone look like a dumbass by having the star say one thing and then do the opposite. Alyssa claims she is the best parent in the world, then spends all her screen time in the pilot showcasing her ability to get wasted quickly. Everything from the couples’ lifestyles to their taste in clothing and music are dragged through the ringer while they clamor for their five minutes of fame.

The only upside to watching “My Big Friggin’ Wedding” is that it makes you feel a whole lot better about your own life. If you’re not about to marry a dude whose biggest aspiration is to have your wedding be an “Italian Guido Club,” then clearly you’re headed in a much better direction than anyone on “My Big Friggin’ Wedding”. If you’re absolutely devastated that “Jersey Shore” just ended, it might be good for you to watch something less ridiculous and offensive for a change.

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