Oh God, oh God, why have you forsaken me?

Paul Wong
Courtesy of Saint Martin”s Press LLC

I am really pissed off that I am writing this. Where the hell are my writers. Step up. People on records page this week, are excluded.

I hate compilations. The only good compilations are compilations that are burned via Napster, or old school mix tapes with obscure titles, like “Elitist Music Mix Vol. 3.”

That being said, “Malcolm in the Middle,” the surprisingly popular sitcom on Fox has released a soundtrack, a “Various Artists package representing music from the show” if you will.

Beginning with the They Might Be Giants “Boss of Me,” it creates a slight optomism about the rest of the record”s potential. At this point in the listening it has a chance.

Scanning the tracklist one would think it could be decent. Or not.

Stroke 9. Hey didn”t these guys do that song “Absolutely (Story of a Girl)?” Uh, no that was Nine Days. What are you talking about those bands are the same. Oh yeah.

Sweet. The Baha Men are on this too. Why God?

Eagle Eye Cherry”s contribution “Been Here Once Before” is candid and reminds Eagle Eye that he has been on a worthless album before. His own.

Travis. The men who. Actually these guys are pretty sweet. But this song isn”t.

Hanson. When it was “Mmm Bop” it was teen bubblegum trash, now with “Smile” it is just trash.

Rednex. This song, “Cotton Eye Joe” dominated the Hot 9 at 9 in Northern Michigan, why the hell is it on here?

The Barenaked Ladies. “Falling for the First Time.” Yep, a song about their record sales.

OPM. You may have heard this song the hook is “If I die before I wake/at least in heaven I can skate.” I am actually at a loss talking about this song. It is really that bad. I mean really that bad. It is the kind of song that when it comes on in the middle of a long day of landscaping well it doesn”t make a man dig any damn faster.

The lone nugget in this steaming pile of music is the song “Older” by They Might Be Giants. It represents their quirk and charm as good as any song since “Make a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul.”

Concluding track “I Just Don”t Care” by the Dust Brothers summates this review perfectly. I just don”t care either.

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