(Enter Jason Mraz into the office of an unnamed Atlantic Records executive.)

Atlantic Records: Hey Mr. A-Z, long time no see. I can hardly believe it’s been five years since Waiting For My Rocket to Come.

Jason Mraz: Mr. A-Z? What’s that all about?

AR: Just something I thought was cute. Get it, it’s like … never mind. I wrote it down figuring you could use it on your next album. Speaking of which, I hear you’re recording another hot one.

JM: Well, I’ve been listening to my idols lately. Barenaked Ladies, Maroon 5 — you know, the classics. I really found a way to infuse their raw energy and stellar arrangements with my unprecedented lyrical skills.

(Jason Mraz and the executive sit down at a desk.)

JM: So my first single is called “Wordplay” and I have to say, it’s really something. I decided go with the Barenaked Ladies’ shtick — sing really fast about really vacuous things — but the melody and guitars are almost exactly the same as “The Remedy (I Won’t Worry).” It’s funny because I hide really ironic things into the lyrics like, “are you listening to a single word I’ve said,” and “is everybody ready for the single.” It’s really quite clever. I figured we could follow that track up with something mixed by a hip-hop producer. I was thinking Scott Storch. He’d give me street cred. You know he worked with Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg?

AR: Uh, you don’t really need street cred but I really like where you’re taking this. How about we take his production skills and render them useless. Hell, why not go all the way. We’ll name the song something weird that all the kids can connect with … something like “Geek in the Pink.” Yeah, I like that (writes down song title).

JM: I just had the best idea! Why don’t we just change my style and sound completely on every track on the album? Better yet, I’ll just mimic some contemporaries. How about Santana? He’s really good, and I’d bet I could use some Latin percussion or something. We’d have to name it something sensual, like, say, “Beautiful Moon” … but it should be in Spanish. “Bella Luna.” Yes! But I am going to have to remove all emotion and sub some stagnant guitar lines. All that feeling, it just isn’t me.

AR: Well, there really isn’t any other artist out there like you, you know. You’re just an endless fountain of musical innovation.

JM: Well, you know what they say, “the sophomore slump is an uphill battle.” I’ve clearly already overcome it. Clearly.

AR: See, this is what I am talking about! That’s, like, poetry on the spot.

JM: And I drop that line on the album too … it’s all about the “Wordplay” (winks knowingly). Well, those are all my ideas really. I figured we’d just fill the rest of the record with some slow songs or something. But who really cares about those anyway, they won’t be radio hits for sure. I’ll make sappy and pretentious song titles too — you know, the ones that’ll drive the tweens crazy. I am thinking “Life Is Wonderful,” “Mr. Curiousity,” “Plane.” Stuff like that. I might even begin the album with “Life Is Wonderful.” It’s going to be so slow that the rest of the album will just have to knock them off their feet.

AR: Well Mr. A-Z, you truly are one of a kind (gets up to shake his hand). I’m so glad we’ll be releasing your next chart-topper!

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

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