5 – Reading Hermann Hesse while Watching “Aqua Teen” — Attempting to understand the complex intersection of musicology and mathematics in “The Glass Bead Game” I overhear Meatwad’s angry plea: “I do too know how to use the “F” word! Fart y’all; ya’ll farters can just go ahead and fart yourselves! Fart this, I’m gone.”
4 – Thomas Haden Church in “Spider-Man 3” — In Spidey’s third celluloid installment, Church will play a misogynistic, hard-drinking aero-mechanic who marries Debra Messing in order to win an executive position at a prominent New York advertising agency. Either that or Sandman. He’d be a good Sandman.
3 – “My Own Private Idaho” Criterion Collection DVD — Thanks to the wonderful folks at Criterion, a truly ground breaking film finally gets the DVD treatment it deserves. Narcoleptic, wayward, homosexual misfits wander the side streets of Portland musing on the transitory, elusiveness of “home.” And you thought “Elephant” was too artsy.
2 – Ben Affleck behind the camera — I originally considered using this space to mock and ridicule Affleck’s recent roster of bombs — “Gigli,” “The Sum of All Fears” and “Jersey Girl” come readily to mind — but instead I would like to offer Ben my sincere best wishes in his new film endeavour … Just kidding! You suck Affleck! (But “Phantoms” was the bomb!)
1 – “Batman Begins” — After Joel Schumacher thoroughly weirded-up Bruce Wayne in “Batman & Robin” (were the erect bat-nipples really necessary?), I never believed that the Dark Knight would fly again. But with “Memento” director Christopher Nolan at the helm, this return to Frank Miller’s gothic Gotham of “Year One” is sure to be the best superhero flick in years.