Oh, spring is in the air.
The sun has finally started to show itself again. The temperatures are inching their way back toward normalcy and people are putting their winter jackets back in the closet.
Some of the greatest sights in my life have occurred in the spring on this very campus like looking out over the Diag with everybody lying on the grass, playing frisbee and just generally mingling after long months of what seems like hibernation.
As I walk out of Mason Hall, observing such happiness, there shouldn’t be anything that would dampen my mood. But there is.
As I reach the epicenter of activity in front of the Grad, my demeanor takes on an entirely new look.
I am asked by a few guys dressed in tuxedos about whether I want to go see a Glee Club concert. In the process of asking me this question, they then proceed to stick a piece of paper directly in my face.
So I have gone from watching euphoria in the Diag to looking at the hand of some guy dressed in formal attire, who also happens to be asking me if I would like to hear him sing at Hill Auditorium.
There are several ways in which you can get rid of people like these choir boys. First, the best method is to simply scowl at them. Most of the time, flyer people are very shy and easily intimidated. This is my go-to maneuver when confronted in the Diag.
Then there is the polite, “not interested” response that will usually get rid of them. But with the very aggressive flyer people, this doesn’t always work. They are so persistent about their cause that good etiquette means nothing to them. You have to remember: these people have no shame, that’s why they’re in the Diag to begin with.
And then there is the very unorthodox, but very successful method of avoiding the Diag altogether. My friend Greg will skip the pavement portions and just walk across the grass in order to get to classes. But I am an advocate of not allowing these people to affect the way I live my life.
Don’t get me wrong here. I don’t mind singers. I don’t mind the Alaska Coalition or cool concerts at the Blind Pig. If that’s their thing, then that’s their thing. But don’t force it on me. I didn’t want your flyer yesterday, I don’t want it today and I’m not going to want it tomorrow.
But that is beside the point. The real question is, what makes these people hand out stuff in the Diag? I can’t believe it is very successful. And it makes the people who hand these flyers out look like dorks.
I mean, a tuxedo in the middle of the Diag is not cool, no matter how sweet you think it is.
But the Glee Club isn’t the only problem. They are just an example of the many student groups who continually offer stupid flyers that very few – if any – students will actually read.
These flyers are just annoying. If I’m listening to my iPod, with my eyes looking at the pavement, it probably means I don’t care about your student group. I respect that you are part of one, but don’t try to force it on me.
And I don’t think I’m alone on this one. Just yesterday, I counted seven people from seven different organizations handing out paraphernalia for their respective causes. So I stood and watched for a few minutes. There were at least 100 people who walked through the Diag during those few minutes, and I would say maybe 10 of them took flyers. But of those 10, none of them kept them past the nearest trash can.
These people are just like telemarketers. Except with the flyer people, you get to see what kind of jackass does this type of stuff. There is a face to be pissed off at.
Is there anyway I can get on a don’t bother list for the flyer people?
But the best way to solve this problem is to simply get rid of the flyer people altogether. They are annoying and add nothing to Michigan. There needs to be one day where these student groups can get their message to the masses.
Oh wait. That’s called Festifall. Why can’t we just get them to be annoying on that day, and avoid all of the tension between regular students and flyer people?
The administration needs to make a new rule. No more paper in the Diag. The only time these fools can annoy the masses is during Festifall.
I hope if you know one of these flyer nerds, that you will let them know that their services are no longer necessary. Let them know that they should maybe try and be a little more creative than printing flyers when they want to let people know about their organizations.
Remember, every time someone rejects your literature or throws away your flyer, it’s just another piece of your dignity going down the drain.