Next week marks March 17, the day in which college students wear green, drink beer and bastardize the Irish culture in equal form. Sick of the St. Patrick’s Day traditions? Try out these more unique holidays. In 30 years they may be the new spring Fraturday celebration.

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The Statement is The Michigan Daily’s weekly news magazine, distributed every Wednesday during the academic year.

March 11, Johnny Appleseed Day: Stop the presses, today is the Johnny Appleseed Day, the man of legend celebrated in 4th grade classrooms across the country. Eat some apples, throw the seeds over your shoulder, and check back in ten years.

March 14, National Potato Chip Day: We’ve all heard about Pi Day, but who knew that the national celebration of Potato Chips falls on the same fateful day? This distinctly American holiday can only be celebrated one way: pants-less, in front of the television.

March 18, Goddess of Fertility Day: Yes, it’s Beyoncé’s Day! Just kidding, although that would be incredible. The rules for celebrating this eclectic day are to be interpreted as you wish.

March 20 Extraterrestrial Abduction Day: It’s a bird, it’s a plane … no, it’s Extraterrestrials Abductions Day! The origins of this one are unclear — speculations are that the creator of the holiday was abducted himself, although we may never know the truth.

March 30 Bunsen Burner Day: Did you know it was Robert Wilhelm Eberhard von Bunsen who created the revolutionary Bunsen Burner? Did you know March 31st celebrates this pioneer’s birth? Spend the day sneaking into high school Chem labs and planning for April Fools.

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