A very sad, sad man

Dear Ndujoo,

I hope you’re sitting down for this … I’ve got some bad news.

Yesterday the recently converted to Judaism Bruce Springstein, Bono, Chris Burke, Buckwheat and others immediately announced plans for a new album to benfit the victims’ of AIDS’ families.

Titled “Riding the Short Bus: Living with DS,” the eclectic supergroup is committed to topping the previous record for capitalizing on tragedy, held jointly by the artists of “The Concert for New York City.”

When approached for comment on the terrorist activity, Chris “WhereisBEKHA?” Burke informed the crowd of four that “eating is good/ eating is serious / if you don’t eat enough, you might disappear-eance / if you eat too much, you might get delirious.”

He then thanked East Grand Rapids for “worshipping one of my kind.” By his kind, he meant, re-tahds.

Bill Murray was in the movie “Stripes.” Ndujoo, I thought you would be interested in the filmography of an actor/semi-pro-golfer. He has many funy films.

When not masturbating to images of himself being anally impaled by Ireland, Bono was still unavailable for comment.

Justin plowed through a rendition of “Dirrty,” in memory of the needles that pricked so many AIDS victims.

As legendary Jersey-icon and fudgepacker Bruce Springstein took the stage, my heart fluttered remembering your dead foster mother and how much she hated this egregious fuck.

This time I’ve included a little something extra. It is a gift. Let us use it against him.

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