Correction: The lyrics “I just can’t date a dude with a vag” were originally stated to be from “Sleazy.” They are from “Grow a Pear.”


Cannibal EP


Side effects of listening to Ke$ha’s new EP, Cannibal, may include throwing up for 30 consecutive minutes. It’s not much of a surprise, given that the EP features inspired lyrics such as “Now that I’m famous / You’re up my anus / Now I’m going to eat you, fool” (“Cannibal”) and “I just can’t date a dude with a vag” (“Grow a Pear”).

Other priceless gems on Cannibal include the hit single “We R Who We R,” which has been getting non-stop radio play since October. This song has also been played — either ironically or in total earnestness — at a lot of unfortunate college parties. People seem to take great delight in singing along to ingenious lines like “ ’Cause we make the hipsters fall in love / And we’ve got hot pants on enough.” Whatever that means. At this point, the drunken revelers usually high-five each other and then fall over.

But wait. Ke$ha takes a moment to slow it down and get real serious for the track “C U Next Tuesday,” which is as close to a power ballad as she’s ever going to get. The vulgar double entendre in the title also showcases Ke$ha’s flair for the obvious. Essentially, Ke$ha just whines about some guy who has a girlfriend (in her trademark Uffie knock-off vocals), but she’s still hooking up with him anyways ’cause she’s just that crazy.

All of these insipid lyrics are — of course — backed by a healthy dose of Auto-Tune and whatever electro beats are designed to get the kids bumping and grinding. As expected, Ke$ha hasn’t evolved from her “crazy party girl” ways, lyrically or otherwise. Her favorite look these days mainly consists of glitter, ripped tights and unwashed hair, as referenced in “We R Who We R”: “I’ve got that glitter on my eyes, / Stockings ripped all up the side / Looking sick and sexy-fied.” So typical of someone who was born at a party. She’s unstoppable, dude.

Except someone should really stop her. Seriously.

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