Junk drawer

Three things you can talk about this week:

1. Downloading Al Qaeda videos to your cell phone

2. The future of democracy in Pakistan

3. Presidential politics

And three things you can’t:

1. What you did over winter break

2. The Spears family

3. 2007

Quotes of the week

“We’re young. We need to experiment. When you’re 21, you’re old already, and ugly.”
– Natalie Winston, a 12-year-old girl protesting South Africa’s “kissing law,” which forbids romantic physical contact for anyone under 16

“I went up to him and said, ‘Sir, don’t push me anymore,’ and he said that I was low class.”
– Marvin Nicholson, a trip director for Barack Obama, on an incident involving Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, who shoved Nicholson in order to interview the senator at an event

“For children to see people cut up with knives, it’s a horrible situation.”
– Toby Tanser, a member of the New York Road Runners board of directors who is training in Kenya, on the violence that has erupted over the disputed results of the country’s presidential election on Dec. 27

YouTube video of the week

David Caruso’s one-liners

No episode of CBS’s crime drama “CSI: Miami” is complete without one of David Caruso’s signature one-liners. In every episode, Caruso, as Lt. Horatio Caine, makes a wisecrack or tough-guy vow in the same tone of voice just before the show’s theme (The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again”) blares and credits roll.

In the context of the episode, the one-liners can seem clever and convincing. But the editor of this video crammed dozens of the lines together, which shows just how formulaic they really are.

Here’s how you can wow family and friends with your own one-liners.

Step one: Think of a clever pun or tough-guy vow. Leave a pause for dramatic effect. For example: “They brought the war to us. Now we (pause) are gonna bring it to them.”

Step two: During the dramatic pause, put on or take off your sunglasses. You’ll look awesome.

Step three: Carry a boom box cued to play the scream from “Won’t Get Fooled Again.” Play it after delivering the line. Repeat.

– Gabe Nelson

See this and other YouTube videos of the week at youtube.com/user/michigandaily

Theme party suggestion

Dreams of summer

It’s winter in Michigan, which means cold weather, gray skies and a dormant party scene until March. In order to combat feelings of depression and isolation, we suggest you gather with friends and celebrate warm weather. This might involve decorating your room with palm trees, drinking margaritas or listening to Jimmy Buffett’s “License to Chill.” Or all three.

Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStatement@umich.edu

Study of the week

Parents in denial about their overweight children

Many American parents with obese children do not admit that this is the case, according to a study led by Matthew Davis, a professor of pediatrics and internal medicine at the University.

Researchers surveyed 2,060 adults, gathering the height and weight measurements for the participants’ children and using these figures to compute body mass index. A child with a BMI greater than the 95th percentile for children of the same gender and age was deemed obese.

For parents with an obese child ages 6 to 11, 43 percent responded that their child was “about the right weight,” 37 percent said “slightly overweight” and 13 percent said “very overweight.”

Parents with overweight children ages 12 to 17 were somewhat more aware that obesity was an issue, the study found. Fifty-six percent of parents reported that their child was “slightly overweight,” 31 percent said “very overweight” and 11 percent said “about the right weight.”

— Brian Tengel

By the numbers

65,445 Number of people 50 and older living with H.I.V. in the United States in 2001

115,871Number of people 50 and older living with H.I.V. in the United States in 2005

77 Percent increase over this time period.