Lo and behold, you shits of a castrated camel. You one-testicled pigs of the West. You cock-smelling believers of manifest destiny. You idol-worshipping dolls of jizz. My name is Osama and I want to be your next President (I saw this fat guy saying this in a Michael Douglas, Annette Benning movie called” (surprisingly) The American President, while I was rummaging through my various burqa and garter belt combos in the Jihad cave with my boy, DJ Mo, also known as Emir-ul-Momineen Mohammad Omar, listening to Khaled “The Crusade That Never Was” motion picture soundtrack and surfing utlravideos.com in their big tits/small brain/tight burqa category for the perfect, waddoyou infidels call it, Ms. Right?) In any case, I should lay off the ambience descriptions. All I was trying to do was impress you with my talent for multi-tasking hate and prostrating before your almighty Lord Jesus Camera.

Paul Wong
Osama bin Laden

Yulla Mulla Kulla Shmulla, you pubic-hairs of small breasted swine. That means that “infidels like you will be murdered by intestine suckling bats which have eyes bigger than that ass on your first lady after she”s taken it a few times in the Tora Bora cave by Rumsfeld, Powell and Condi Rice (obviously, with that strap-on) all within the trajectory hitting time of a daisy-cutter.”

If you”re still reading this while you wipe your asses with the $8 snow-scrapers that are meant to clean off the $2000 dollar windscreen of your $ 45000 SUV that is designed to protect you with a $500,000 life insurance, then be assured, I am proud of you.

I am proud of you for being who you are. Kafirs of Kalamazoo. Infidels of Indiana. Liars of Las Vegas, Hypocrites of Houston. Sacreligious of Sacramento. Core/periphery thieves and use-and-abuse pimps. Kings without kingdoms, warriors without war, Your dollars will be your downfall. Your oil will fry you. Your dreams will deny you. Your ignorance will defy you. Your arrogance will belie you.

Remember.Your college degrees, your German cars, your hegemonic dreams, your licentiousness for liberty, your golden wives and silvering ideals, mean nothing. Ashes and dust, shadows and shrieks, doubt and death these will be your friends. Know them well.

Yooka Booka Looka Hooka. That means die.

Infidels Just not invisible.

Osama bin Laden can be reached via e-mail at obladen@umich.edu.

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