Whatup motherfuckas! Holy shit, dude … I’m on one hell of a journey. It’s totally stream-of-consciousness, man! Why can’t you silly little Jewish and Moslem kids kiss and make up? Why isn’t Goa free yet? Let me tell you – I’m fucking sick of seeing all of this hate and whatnot. It’s all about the love, man. Like, totally. I propose that 20 million hits of Ecstasy be dropped on the West Bank. All those motherfuckers will be like “yo, I LOVE you, man!

Aw, damn, I have to go smoke a fuckin’ j soon … hey, Mister Drug Czar man – I’m like impairing my perceptions, dude! Heheheee!

So, like, why is there a war on drugs, assholes (here’s looking at you, Amerika). I’m going to retire in Vancouver with 2000 acres of cannabis sativa. What, what?!

Turn on the trance, motherfucker. I groove to that shite. Oh man, I’m SO much cooler than the rest of you; it’s not even funny.

I best wrap up this magnum opus. Wait – I have to poo! Man, don’t you wish you were here, hitting my bong?! It’s a shame that you’re all fucking peons. Anyhoo, Redbeard is indicating that I hurry the fuck up, so I better do that…

YOU STUPIDFLY!!

Cannabis Correspondent – N.

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