Continuing the nascent resurgence of Hollywood horror movies,
including the videogame-to-movie trend, director Uwe Boll presents
“Resident Matrix,” er … I mean “The House of the Dead” which
serves as a sure-fire excuse for studios to once again abandon the
horror genre.

John Becic
Courtesy of Artisan

A couple of 30-year olds playing teenagers head to a
Sega-sponsored rave, on an island called “Isla del Muerta” and are
aghast to find out that people have actually died on said island.
Once surrounded by zombies, wacky hijinx ensue.

An abomination by all accounts, this “film” plays akin to a MTV
video on speed with shameless instances of corporate name
placement. The shiny new bullet-time technology and incessant, and
apparently compulsory, 360-degree camera movement Boll is not so
much an homage as it is copyright infringement upon the creation
that the Wachowski Brothers may almost wish they didn’t create.

Even possible redemption as a self-aware B-movie with maximum
schmaltz is void as the insipid dialogue, caricaturist style of
acting and cookie-cutter direction make redemption harder than not
checking your watch or figuring out how this movie got green lit.
To make things more referential there are scenes from the actual
videogame interspersed throughout the ‘narrative’ of the movie
making sure you stay fully aware, that this is a videogame and that
you should have stayed home and played it instead.

After a disappointing concluding fight sequence you are then
slapped with the failure of an ominous ending making you pray a
sequel will never be attempted. “The House of Dead” is better left
in Dreamcasts across the nation and in memories of gamers as only
an enjoyable videogame.

Rating: 1/2 stars

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