By Mizz Velveeta
Weekend, etc. Astrologer
Aries: March 21 – April 19
Take a stack of The Michigan Daily and
deliver them to students” doors like you are
Taurus: April 20 – May 20
Watch out when you go to the bathroom late at
night the monsters form “Silent Hill” will
Gemini: May 21 June 21
To avoid a case of sexual harassment, keep your
Power Gloves to yourself.
Cancer: June 22 July 22
Have some fun George Costanza style and play
a game of “Frogger.”
Leo: July 23 Aug. 22
Try a crazy new hairstyle this week. Sonic the
Hedgehog”s do would look great on you.
Virgo: Aug.23 Sept. 22
Set up a game of “Duck Hunt” for hours of
entertainment at your next party.
Libra: Sept. 23 Oct. 23
Magic mushrooms always helped the Mario
Bros. defeat their enemies they could probably
help you out too.
Scorpio: Oct. 24 Nov. 21
For your next date, plan a romantic evening
eating Taco Bell and watching your favorite
video game movie.
Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Love is not in the air for you your princess is in
Capricorn: Dec. 22 Jan. 19
Like Zelda, go forth and seek the triforce.
Aquarius: Jan. 20 Feb. 18
The secret codes to play your life are all in your
Pisces: Feb.19 March 20
Your life is really insignificant in the grand
scheme of things. To feel more important, play
“Sim City” and pretend you are a god.