By Mizz Velveeta

Weekend, etc. Astrologer

Aries: March 21 – April 19

Take a stack of The Michigan Daily and

deliver them to students” doors like you are

playing “Paperboy.”

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

Watch out when you go to the bathroom late at

night the monsters form “Silent Hill” will

attack you.

Gemini: May 21 June 21

To avoid a case of sexual harassment, keep your

Power Gloves to yourself.

Cancer: June 22 July 22

Have some fun George Costanza style and play

a game of “Frogger.”

Leo: July 23 Aug. 22

Try a crazy new hairstyle this week. Sonic the

Hedgehog”s do would look great on you.

Virgo: Aug.23 Sept. 22

Set up a game of “Duck Hunt” for hours of

entertainment at your next party.

Libra: Sept. 23 Oct. 23

Magic mushrooms always helped the Mario

Bros. defeat their enemies they could probably

help you out too.

Scorpio: Oct. 24 Nov. 21

For your next date, plan a romantic evening

eating Taco Bell and watching your favorite

video game movie.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

Love is not in the air for you your princess is in

another castle.

Capricorn: Dec. 22 Jan. 19

Like Zelda, go forth and seek the triforce.

Aquarius: Jan. 20 Feb. 18

The secret codes to play your life are all in your

dreams.

Pisces: Feb.19 March 20

Your life is really insignificant in the grand

scheme of things. To feel more important, play

“Sim City” and pretend you are a god.

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