Consider yourself lucky. Chances are you didn”t make the trek down to Orlando to watch John Navarre humiliate himself, the football team and the program”s reputation for producing good quarterbacks.
Being forced to watch Navarre sit in the pocket for what seemed like hours, helplessly waiting for Marquise Walker to get open, almost seemed like the torture Alex went through when he was forced to watch terrible things happen with his eyes propped open in “A Clockwork Orange.”
Seeing Navarre drop back in the pocket only to: A) Get crunched by John Henderson and either fumble or barely hold on to the football, B) throw an interception, or C) overthrow his receiver, provided flashbacks of similar performances he gave earlier in the season.
The worst part? He”s only a sophomore.
After the game, running back B.J. Askew said Navarre would be the starter again next year gulp because of his experience.
Now most of you are probably thinking “great, another 8-4 season that would be fortunate to end in central Florida.”
I know that”s what I was thinking.
That is until Friday afternoon.
But the Lord works in mysterious ways, and Friday he provided a sign that the football program is going to take a stand against pathetic quarterbacking.
Offensive coordinator Stan Parrish, it”s nothing personal but there”s someone out there who would do a better job than you.
Only Spurrier has the ability to take crappy quarterbacks and make them good (see Shane Mathews, Terry Dean and Danny Wuerffel). If he could make Wuerffel a Heisman trophy winner, then surely he could make Navarre competent.
Now, if you”ve read this far, you”re undoubtedly wondering why would Spurrier leave sunny Florida, where he could annually contend for the national title, to become the No. 2 man at Michigan?
First of all, Athletic Director Bill Martin would have to make it worth Spurrier”s while. Give him the money he”s asking for, throw in a membership to a nice golf course he seems to really want that and trumpet the Michigan practice of going to Florida before Christmas to get ready for the bowl game.
And Carr would need to do his part. Tell Spurrier about all of the gimmicky, trick plays that Michigan runs and let him know he could run even more if he came here.
After all, Calvin Bell could do more than just run the reverse, he could also run the double reverse.
While we”re in a crazy mood, Carr should let Spurrier know that he has the right to bench whomever he wants, whenever he wants. Navarre”s late for curfew? He”s benched. The seniors disagree with the punishment? They”re benched too.
Carr should let Spurrier know that if he came to Michigan, terms like “running up the score” would lose meaning.
Western Michigan”s down 28 with one minute left in the game? The perfect time for Michigan to try its onside kick. Minnesota”s down 20 with seconds left? Let Navarre throw another touchdown pass.
You might say, “we don”t do things like that at Michigan, or in the North for that matter.” But who”s to say what running up the score really is.
This program could use a new identity. Enough with the good defense, good running game and ol” Bo Schembechler hat attitude. Spurrier could bring his visor and fun n” gun attitude to Ann Arbor.
If nothing else, it would probably help kick start the Michigan-Tennessee rivalry that seems destined to develop.
After all, Spurrier”s 8-3 against Tennessee. Stan Parrish is 0-1.
Raphael Goodstein can be reached at email@example.com.