“Graaralff,” and you knew he was angry. With “Yahhhhhgllle,” you knew he was furious, and “Hakdeiqi,” could mean he was ready to kill, either that or it signaled a bad case of indigestion. The primarily laconic Incredible Hulk was never much a conversationalist, but his language was universal. Everyone understands anger, and the Incredible Hulk is filled to the brim with unbridled aggression. Combining heaping doses anger with copious amounts of stupidity creates one dangerous individual.

Paul Wong
Lou Ferrigno played the fliery-tempered green guy on the TV series that ran during the 1980s.<br><br>Courtesy of CBS

Physical limitations often prevent this dynamic combination for creating a true bad ass but the Hulk has unlimited physical prowess and very, very limited mental capacity. There is no reasoning. Around the Hulk, you would be well advised to watch what you say. One slip of the tongue and you could find your skull ground into a fine paste between two ham hock-sized green pulverizing fists.

Tony Montana is not even a real person, he is a character from a movie. And a drug crazed bum he was, filling his life with immorality and contraband. To consider Tony Montana a real bad ass is like considering Eminem a real gangsta. Montana was driven by nothing but money power. He was just with his servings of ass beating punishment. The Hulk was not driven by money or power or respect or any other such street rules. The Hulk not once used his conscience to determine whether an ass beating was merited. He just beat ass, right or wrong, merited or not. He never worried about clothing or style. For goodness sakes he wore ripped purple pants, most likely trying to bait someone into making a snide comment.

Montana is dead. The Hulk is not dead. A true bad ass doesn”t die, especially not by gunfire. A group of only ten men took out Montana. The Hulk has taken on complete armies of humans and others and crushed them all. The Hulk has fought The Thing, Wolverine and Superman and still lives to arbitrarily crush, smash and wreck. Montana couldn”t even triumph over a measly dozen machine guns. P-U-S-S-Y.

Another mark of the Hulk”s bad-ass-man-ship is his constant reference to himself in third person. “Hulk get mad. Hulk smash.” This progression of anger followed by smashing was a trademark for the Hulk while Montana got ambitious, then powerful then really really high. Of course there was a shooting or two here and there but nothing to put him in the same league as the green behemoth.

Although this match up is purely hypothetical, and could never happen because of Montana”s cowardice, (i.e. death), in a face to face confrontation, Montana should calmly walk away. After all, don”t make the Hulk angry. You wouldn”t like him when he”s angry. But the incorrigible Montana would probably open his mouth, leading to supreme ass whuppin. The Green Guy would hammer Montana into the ground, exposing him for the tool he was.

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