Hard to believe that college basketball is quickly approaching. It seems like just days ago that the Wolverines were marred by an era that was, unquestionably, the most pitiful college basketball experience that Michigan fans have ever and should ever know.

Paul Wong
The Schwartz Authority<br><br>Jon Schwartz

Tommy Amaker”s team is going to win more games this year than last. More importantly, he should make the program a worthwhile representation of Michigan”s athletic department.

But he”s going to need some help. So here is one suggestion that I”ve come up with to return the basketball team to prominence not just on the court, but also in the minds of fans.

There”s an open space on Michigan”s football schedule for next year. The Wolverines weren”t satisfied with a suicidal schedule that included nonconference games against Washington, Oregon and at Notre Dame. So Oregon was dropped.

If the team is looking for a pansy team to face, here”s one Duke. Sure, the Blue Devils have had Michigan”s number on the basketball court they”ve had everyone”s.

But the majority of the players on their football team couldn”t make most high school All-State lists.

If I”m Amaker, I”m on the phone with football coach Lloyd Carr right now, begging him to schedule the game.

Can you imagine the way that Michigan would bend Duke over?

In case you can”t, here”s how I see it playing out.

Duke receives the opening kickoff and goes three-and-out (heretofore referred to as “the usual,” as I see the Blue Devils losing yards on more drives than they gain.) Michigan does the same, because the Wolverines are incapable of scoring on their early drives.

But after Duke loses 42 yards on its next attempt, the Maize and Blue”s offense takes form. In the next eight minutes, Michigan scores three touchdowns two on passes to Ronald Bellamy, and the third on a 79-yard run by Chris Perry.

The touchdowns are set up by a Michigan secondary surprisingly improved after graduation that makes three interceptions.

With 7:32 left in the first half, a 21-0 Michigan lead and a Duke team that has amassed a total of negative-32 yards, Carr pulls every offensive starter from the lineup.

Michigan”s Philip Brabbs tacks on a field goal as time expires and the head to the lockerroom for the break.

Things slow down a bit in the third quarter. Duke finally gains some positive yards, which are quickly erased on a Victor Hobson 23-yard sack. But the Jermaine Gonzales-led Michigan offense sputters, gaining only 226 yards in the entire third quarter. The only touchdown comes when Gonzales goes in to fake a punt and runs 73 yards before fumbling at the Duke 11. Shawn Lazarus picks up the fumble and runs the remaining 11 yards in just a hair under 30 seconds.

Duke does the usual six more times, bringing its total to 24 for the game. Trey McDonald becomes the first punter to ever tell a coach that he”s too tired to go out and kick.

With 7:21 left in the game, Carr puts the starters back in. John Navarre leads the team 63 yards to the Duke 1-yard line in just two plays. He downs the ball three times before Brabbs kicks the field goal, putting Michigan up 34-0.

Duke reaches new levels of futility when Carr sends only Brabbs out for the kickoff, which Duke receives at the 14-yard line. With just one man to beat, Duke”s kick returner, junior Chris Douglas, trips on the 50-yard line. Carr chooses 11 fans from the front row to play defense, and the Blue Devils put together a nice 45-yard drive. But the Duke offense stalls and misses its field goal Michigan takes over with :38 remaining.

Not wanting to run up the score, the Wolverines down the ball twice before calling their last timeout. Oddly, Carr sends Adam Finley out to attempt a punt on third down, with only three seconds left.

Tragedy strikes when the snap is high, but Finley makes a lunging grab to stop the ball from going out of the endzone. He sets himself, looks around, starts running in circles around the endzone, looks over to see what Carr wants him to do, spots Amaker and decides to down the ball. Safety.

Michigan wins 34-2.

Put that up your pipe and smoke it, Cameron Crazies!

Jon Schwartz is ready and willing to take on the position of Michigan”s offensive coordinator. If you”re looking for his resume or credentials, he can be reached at jlsz@umich.edu.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *