When a show uses the tagline “Only on the ground long enough to take off again,” one would assume it would be full of characters who live like rock stars with fast-paced lifestyles. But instead we get “Fly Girls,” a sad mix of “The Bad Girls Club” and “The Hills” with random flight attendants thrown in. And yes, it’s as annoying as it sounds.

Fly Girls

Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m.
The CW

The CW’s latest “reality” show follows five flight attendants who work for Virgin Airlines, party and live together in the same house, conveniently called “The Crash Pad” (just one of the many genius airline puns made through the program). “Fly Girls” follows Mandalay, Louise, Tahsa, Farrah and Nikole, who all live the “exciting lives” of being able to assist people on their flights. Clearly, the producers at The CW are running low on ideas.

These women try and make their lives sound exciting by exclaiming that the life of a flight attendant is full of world travel, invites to the best parties and swooning hot men. Apparently, these five women’s jobs don’t require handing out peanuts and telling people to buckle their seatbelts. Rather, the ladies party it up on planes that don’t even look like they ever took off the ground. One of the girls claims, “No one ever believes us when we say that we live such exciting lives!” But the excitement is never witnessed.

Besides the fact that picking flight attendants as the focus of a show is probably the dumbest thing ever to actually become television, the cast is just a rehashing of the most annoying token reality-star trademarks ― and everyone has issues. Tahsa has a son at home whom she misses, Louise always has boy troubles and can never find Mr. Right, Farrah always tries to act like a mom and Mandalay and Nikole used to be BFFs before they had a fight over a boy and now hate each other’s guts. In fact, at the end of the 30 minutes of torture, Mandalay and Nikole have an all-out bitch fit, talking in circles about how the other is just “so annoying” and “can’t get over” herself.

The nonsensical idea of following flight attendants could be overlooked if there were some ridiculously entertaining characters and actual reality to the show. But it’s a poor and sad knock-off of all “Laguna Beach”-esque shows in which the ladies try and make their lives seem way cooler than they actually are. Instead of worrying about real problems, they worry about Nikole being a bitch, the fact that morning flights suck and whether they’ll find an “IFB,” or “In-Flight Boyfriend,” while on the job.

Overall, the ignorance of the girls, the fakeness of the reality, the idiotic theme of flight attendants and the desperate marketing to make Virgin Airlines appear to be young and hip make you want to gouge your eyes out. “Fly Girls,” in its stupidity, could give Heidi Montag, Paris Hilton and “New York” a run for their money ― if it can stay on air long enough to “take off.”

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