“Sarah Landon’ and a paranormally awful film

Rating: 0 out of 5 stars

“Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour”

At Quality 16 and Showcase

Sunset Creek

With awkward pauses and dialogue out of a CW show, “Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour” is a trap for tweens who aren’t old enough to drive and so can’t leave until their parents come to pick them up.

The film follows Sarah Landon (newcomer Rissa Walters), who finds herself in Pine Valley, a town filled with people who, apparently, have nothing better to do than tell the same ghost story over and over.

There she meets up with David Baker (Jason Wahler doppelganger Brian Comrie), a strapping fellow convinced a ghost will murder him on his 21st birthday. Talk about a buzzkill. That, coupled with another boy’s death on his 21st, makes you wonder if the writer and director Lisa Comrie thought she was filming a public-service announcement on the dangers of drinking. The film’s z-grade production certainly doesn’t help.

Aside from the horrific acting, this is a soft horror movie without anything remotely frightening. You’ve seen one vaguely haunted house, you’ve seen them all. Besides, the way those kids run around, breaking into said house, they kind of deserve what they get.

The scariest part of the move? Comrie leaves it open for a sequel.

ANNIE LEVENE

Fall sports comedies making a ‘Comeback’

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

“The Comebacks”

At Quality 16 and Showcase

Fox Atomic

“The Comebacks” is a crass and overactive attempt to cash in on the fall sports rush. That much is expected. The surprise is that it’s actually pretty funny – a poor but appreciative man’s “Airplane!” or “Top Secret!”

Self-consciously aware of more than 30 years of sports films – be it “Rocky” or “Friday Night Lights” – “Comebacks” is the struggle of a small college football team led by new coach Lambeau Fields (David Koechner, who you’ll recall from “Anchorman”).

“He’s on fire!” takes a literal turn as a player runs into the end zone – on fire. A blue-clad lacrosse team cheers over strippers at a party only to be found in jail in the next scene (too soon?). Fields is outraged none of his athletes are failing their classes and demonstrates the proper drunken, drugged athlete behavior.

Generic plot points and stabs at other flicks ensue. The reason to watch is the movie’s swiftness and its willingness to take cheap shots. This tries very hard to make us laugh, and when it succeeds, it really does.

BLAKE GOBLE

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