5.  The Geto Boys — You
know that hardcore rap group that does all of the “Office
Space” soundtrack? Well, Scarface, Willie D and Bushwick Bill
also happen to be the greatest Southern rap group of all-time.
They’re packin’ more honest and brutally furious rhymes
than anyone this side of Public Enemy.

Beth Dykstra

4. NBA Jam — The madness is
back. Thanks to a resurrected Super Nintendo, I’m officially
obsessed with the vintage Larry “Grandmama” Johnson and
Alonzo Mourning. The only team that can stop me is the Washington
Bullets, led by my roommate and Chris Webber.

3. That One Girl From The House Party
on Thursday
— So I had a good time talking and stuff. I
know you said you had to go but it’d be cool if we could hang
out again. You have really pretty eyes. Okay, so I didn’t get
your number but here’s your chance. I was the guy with the
green polo shirt. Holla.

2. Being Crunk On All Occasions
— Lil’Jon is so over. However, that shouldn’t
stop you from trying to “crunk” up everything from your
dining hall to major religious events. Instead of going to
discussion section as plain ol’ college “Joe,”
try walking in with a bulbous pimp cup surrounded by strippers.
When your teacher questions your behavior, simply scream,
“Yeah!” while pouring your pimp cup on his or her head.
That’s one crunked-out Thursday.

1.  W.B. Yeats — The
most important Irish poet in history has hauntingly beautiful
lyrics and searing political verses that resonate in our time. A
revolutionary, a romantic and a statesman, he was also pretty
“crunk” — the Lil’ Jon of modern
poetry.

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