According to a report from the National Endowment for the Arts released last week, American children are reading less for fun than previous generations. As a follow-up to its groundbreaking research, the NEA subsequently announced its plans to research the growth in children watching something called television and using something called the Internet. The report is expected in 2030.

Behind the times

Rating: 2

The logical next step for stem cells

Following an announcement last week that skin cells can be genetically reprogrammed to act like embryonic stem cells, supporters of stem cell research are celebrating what could be the end of the ethical controversy surrounding the research. Sticking to their guns, Catholic bishops across the country retorted that any stem cells would start the slippery slope: First come the skin cells that act like stem cells, but next come the cloned robot cell armies that march to Heaven to kill God.

Rating: 7

Movin’ your body like a cyclone

With international aid trickling in, officials in Bangladesh announced last week the death toll from a cyclone earlier this month has grown to more than 3,000 people. The news has been equally as devastating for the record sales of Baby Bash, whose hit single suggests that “moving your body like a cyclone” is sexy. A cyclone is a natural disaster that leaves thousands dead and many more homeless.

Rating: 5

Locked and loaded

For the first time since 1939, the U.S. Supreme Court decided last Tuesday to hear a case to clarify the Second Amendment, in particular a challenge to Washington D.C.’s 1975 handgun ban. Conservative insiders suggest the other justices watch out for Justice Jon Paul Stevens, who is expected to get a little trigger happy with his AK-47 of judicial activism.

Rating: 9

The fresh prince of Ann Arbor

Adding to a portfolio of work that already lines many Ann Arbor buildings, the graffiti artist(s) responsible for spray painting “fresh” on just about everything in town struck the new Stephen M. Ross School of Business last week. The damage from the graffiti is expected to be $10,000 and is expected to be paid by “The Man,” who reportedly doesn’t understand art.

Rating: 3

A Singing Senators Reunion?

After more than 35 years in Congress, Trent Lott, Senate Minority Whip and once Senate Majority Leader and subtle racist, announced Monday his plans to step down. While Lott’s retirement is good news for Democrats, it is even better for music lovers. With Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) likely to be unemployed and former Attorney General John Ashcroft already out, let’s keep our fingers crossed that the Republican barbershop trio, The Singing Senators, is heading for a reunion tour.

Rating: 4

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