The Department of Defense acknowledged yesterday that it accidentally mixed up two packages of military supplies and as a result sent several fuses for nuclear missiles to Taiwan by mistake. It took them a year and a half to figure out where the fuses went, but we’re talking about a bureaucracy with a half-trillion-dollar budget, so it’s easy to understand why these little goofs happen once in a while. Next week, Defense Department officials will realize that the thousands of troops in Iraq were supposed to have invaded Saudi Arabia. Oops.

Nuclear bloopers

Rating: 5 out of 10

Goosebumps return

In a move that has unleashed a wave of nostalgia on teens and twentysomethings nationwide, author R.L. Stine has announced his decision to reanimate the long-dead “Goosebumps” series. Back in the na’ve ’90s, the series sold millions of copies of books with names like “Egg Monsters From Mars,” “Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes” and “It Came From Beneath the Kitchen Sink!” Wait, the books were that stupid? Thanks, R.L. Stine, for trying to ruin our rose-tinted childhoods.

Rating: 2 out of 10

GEO walkout

After failing to reach an agreement on a new contract with the University, members of the Graduate Employees’ Organization decided to walk out yesterday and today. Employees of the union, which represents the University’s graduate student instructors, have asked for better pay and more benefits. The idea of teachers canceling class to make a statement about their value as teachers is a little ironic, but considering Michigan students don’t get snow days, a couple classes off every few years for a GEO walkout only seems fair.

Rating: 7 out of 10

Kwame’s excuses

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his former chief of staff Christine Beatty pled not guilty yesterday to a combined fifteen felony counts on charges including perjury, obstruction of justice and the use of public funds to conceal crimes relating to the cover up of a sex scandal between the two. But Kwame has a point:how can we really know if he was the one who typed those sexy text messages on his phone?

Rating: 6 out of 10

Quickie misogyny

Almost immediately after Quickie Burger and Dogs, a small burger place on State Street, opened earlier this month, a campus activist group started a petition asking the restaurant to change its name and logo. The logo shows a busty woman riding a hamburger, which could be seen as objectifying women, but glossed over in the controversy has been the fact that the woman’s hair appears to be on fire. In addition to being misogynist, this image gives the impression that fire is fun and tasty. Keep children away from this restaurant at all costs.

Rating: 1 out of 10

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