Not your daddy’s new deal
Tough economic times call for dramatic solutions. Just don’t tell Gov. Granholm that. Her fifth State of the State included none of the bold solutions one might have expected to hear. Instead she offered up optimism and rehashed proposals. Maybe more happy-talk will bring Pfizer back to Michigan.
8 out of 10

More guns, less butter
The White House released a 2,500 page, $2.9 trillion budget on Monday. The document calls for massive increases in defence spending at the expense of social programs and health care. Who needs butter? Americans are overweight anyway.
6 out of 10

A United Nations report confirmed that Global Warming is very likely caused by humans. Now the only people who still need to be convinced are Congressional Republicans and the Bush administration.
7 out of 10

An extraterrestrial crush has resulted in kidnapping and attempted murder charges against one former astronaut. Lisa Nowak drove 900 miles to kidnap another woman who she believed was coming between her and a fellow astronaut. Apparently zero gravity can make you do some crazy things.
2 out of 10

The booze made me do it
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom checked into alcohol counseling this week after admitting to an affair with his campaign manager’s wife. It seems like checking into alcohol counseling can get you off the hook for just about anything.
4 out of 10

Still cold
It’s still cold
0 out of 10

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