“Norbit” was directed by the man responsible for Tim Allen’s recent “Shaggy Dog” remake – take that as a warning. Opening with a slew of offensive jokes targeting blacks, whites, Asians and the morbidly obese, “Norbit” only gets worse, tossing our infant title character out of a car and on to the doorstep of a Chinese orphanage. Though Norbit is ultimately raised by Mr. Wong, the first character in Eddie Murphy’s thespian hat trick, he’s rescued from the clutches of some mean-spirited punks by Murphy’s second – the young, massive Rasputia.

Scott Bell
The bookies say this man has 2-to-9 odds to win an Oscar. No shit. (Courtesy of Paramount)

She’s as unpleasant as she is large, and Norbit finds himself inexplicably tied to her for life. Though Rasputia has no loving sentiments for Norbit either, for some unexplained reason she refuses to divorce him, and even enforces their union with the help of her three intimating brothers.

The rest of the story vaguely involves something about a real-estate scam and Norbit’s long-lost love Kate (the notably svelte Thandie Newton, “Crash”), who has returned to town in true heroine fashion to both buy Norbit’s old orphanage and marry a predictably chauvinist fianc

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