In “94, Kurt Nirvana was voted most likely to change the world after graduation. The students and faculty of Rock “N” Roll High School had kept their eyes on him since freshman year after his highly unconventional presentation titled “Nevermind” in Pop Culture in America got an A, altering the grading scale and immediately knocking his bigger-haired classmates from the honor roll to the streets. The students awaited graduation and longed to see Nirvana walk down the aisle in cap and gown. But sadly, only a month and a half away from graduation, Nirvana took his own life. Rock “N” Roll High School was shaken to the core. Administration and students alike wondered how life in in Rocknrollville would go on, but like every year, when a senior class goes out, a new class comes in. The “94-95 year brought in a new class of freshmen. Like every class, there were some promising freshman some had talent like that student whose coat always smelled a bit dank, but he wrote nice poetry, what was his name? Dan Matthews or something, I think and some had a sense of humor. There was one student who had quite a strange obsession with peaches and truly believed he was the “President of the United States of America,” but there was one who brought back memories of Rocknrollville”s fallen star, the new posterboy, Gavin Bush. With his brooding mood and sexy rasp, he filled the space left by Kurt Nirvana. It was as if Gavin had borrowed Kurt”s notes and study guides. Although his paper “Sixteen Stone” got an A, many suspected plagiarism. There were no direct quotes, but the main thrust of his argument sounded much like Kurt”s project “Nevermind.” No one investigated too deeply, the faculty at Rock “N” Roll High School was just glad to have someone new to call their pride and joy.

Paul Wong
These fine people are ready to perform.<br><br>Courtesy of UMS

Surely, he wasn”t exactly the same as Kurt. He had his quirks, uttering nonsensical proverbs like “Minnie Mouse has grown up a cow,” and his conspiracy theories like “I don”t believe that Elvis is dead,” but he was so convincing in the way he said it. Oh, and that hair! He was quite a hit amongst ladies.

The talent was raw, and everyone had hopes it would develop, for Mr. Bush was still young and impressionable.

Years went by and nothing changed. Kurt, the original, had been forgotten, and all that remained was the copycat. No one even remembered who Bush was copying, but they knew Gavin”s act was getting old. There was so much promise but so little progression. The girls didn”t flock like they used to. Styles changed. Trent and Eddie were out, and boys like Justin and Nick were in. Quite frankly, it was a bit weird that Gavin was an eighth year senior and didn”t seem to be going anywhere soon. The little things just started to get old. He”d come down to all the old haunts. Gavin just didn”t get the science of things. He had become a greedy fly, swallowed by his past success. At this point, letting the cables sleep would have been the best idea, but instead of giving up, he packed all his belongings into a razorblade suitcase and moved out West to a golden state where nothing is Zen but everything is Nirvana.

In this voyage to the West, Bush made a stop in Seattle to get in touch with their northwestern American roots, and of course savored the sights and sounds of nearby suburbs Rehashedville and Repetitivetown.

Finally arriving in the Golden State (looking for his asshole brother?) Gavin found nothing but a barren wasteland, except for a few familiar sights. There was the All Flannel All The Time Store and the Mom and Pop Pot Proverb Shop.

Everyone in the Golden State had seen many like Gavin come and go and were more than willing to pass him through like 16 monster gallstones.

There is no nice, neat ending to this story. To this very day Gavin walks in the land of the living with his head full of ghosts, and if you listen carefully to bad radio you can still hear Gavin singing his same old song.

Grade: D+

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