The Martian Child
New Line
At Quality 16 and Showcase
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Remember that awesome viral video of “The Shining” trailer that was re-cut as if it were a cutesy Cameron Crowe movie about a father reuniting with his son? Here’s the bastard realization of that video.

“Martian Child” follows a writer’s struggle to connect to his quirky, newly adopted son, who may or may not be an alien from Mars. David (John Cusack, “High Fidelity”) is the widower/writer seeking spawn so he can give away the “love he has left.”

Please. This is mundane melodrama worthy of only the most sappy and forgettable ilk. Cute montages with E.L.O. and the crazy things kids do are not sufficient means to punctuate a film about growing into parenthood. Besides, Cusack couldn’t be more one-dimensional and unbelievable – no one stays cool with kids like he does here. See Dustin Hoffman “Kramer vs. Kramer.” That got male parenting right.

And you’re still soft for Cusack, that’s no excuse. Just watch that spoof video of “The Shining” again – it’s better.

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