Newton’s first law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. This may explain why, after Fox’s brilliant new show, “24,” viewers are treated to the horrendous waste of time that is CBS’ “Baby Bob.” Bob is that little talking baby from a series of commercials that ran last year. Imagine the shock when his parents find out this six-month-old can talk. On second thought, don’t. They’re shocked. End of story.

Besides his parents and Bob’s babysitter, nobody can ever know about Bob’s unique nature. Otherwise, Bob might be exploited (how, by making an awful show out of him?) Bob is shocked to find that other babies don’t share his skill. This no doubt will provide numerous chances for wacky comedy in future episodes.

Why this formulaic concept merits a television series is anyone’s guess. It’s already been done with “Look Who’s Talking” and “Baby Talk.” The idea behind it is so bad, that even with the finest cast and writers, the show would be mediocre at best. But the execution makes this series easily the worst of the new year. The dialogue is awful, it has no redeeming value, and while it doesn’t offend on a personal level, it should offend any viewer on an artistic level.

The actor voicing the baby may still have a shot at a career, so he shall only be referred to as Ken Hudson C., or K.H. Campbell, either way. Joely Fisher (“Ellen”) and Adam Arkin (“Chicago Hope”) portray Bob’s wowed parents. She’s a stay-at-home mom who wants to work. He’s a public relations man. This is as deep as they can get. Holland Taylor (“Legally Blonde”) and Elliott Gould (“M.A.S.H.,” Ocean’s 11″), after recently making some excellent career moves, effectively kill their careers by opting to round out this support cast as Bob’s crotchety grandparents.

If you watch the show and don’t feel the urge to cry “make it stop” or drink lots of alcohol, then it would be a great surprise. “Bob” is depressing in the sense that even seeing promos for the show will bring back painful memories of sitting through the pilot episode.

After CBS’ recent success with “Everyone Loves Raymond,” “CSI” and other breakthrough programs, the network has definitely taken more than a baby step backward with this show.

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