The rising threat of terrorism has inspired legendary blue-collar crapmaster Bruce Springsteen to stall his tour and begin working on his next album. The singer/songwriter indicated his intentions were to “dig deep into the heart of tragedy and see what emotions we can dredge up.”

For the album, tentatively titled, The Lynching, the Boss has hinted at journeying to Hiroshima and Nagasaki to talk to survivors of the two bombs dropped by the United States back when we were at war with Japan. Sometime around the 1960s, I think.

The Boss has been looking at lots of pictures of dead people, primarily on his computer, but also through the complete back catalog of the “Faces of Death” series (available now on DVD!) to set his heart in the emotional state required to pen such tunes like “It’s Sept. 11 all over again,” and “When the nukes blew.” In conjunction with Pete Townshend’s addiction to kiddie porn (not a laughing matter; young children having sex is still disgusting despite what Diopolis says), Bruce Springsteen is putting a series of bonus tracks at the end of his album dedicated to those with child-porno-lovers’ disease.

The head of PETA (People Against Child Molesting) Sandi Lewson was thrilled when she heard of the Boss’ plans. “Bruce Springsteen is doing what!” Lewson exclaimed. “Is he the guy with the ass and the jeans and the American flag on his record? That is totally tits! But not children tits, that’s disgusting. Or old man tits, that is also disgusting, though not as disgusting as kiddie tits. More like, firm 30-year-old woman tits.”

Additionally, Springsteen, for the first time his industriously wasteful career has shown interest in taking a Santana-approach – the Boss plans to call on some of the biggest talent in music to work with him on Lynching. Interested stars at press time include, Ashanti, Ja Rule, the Roots and Snoop Doggy Dogg.

Springsteen is also in the market for a producer, with Rick Rubin heading up his short list. The Boss is best known for penning the soundtrack to “Transformers: The Movie,” and did some guest vocal work on the “He-Man” cartoon series. He voiced Skunkor.

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