It’s Tuesday.

This means it’s time to read the Alumni Rund … Nay! We’ve decided that the former name of this space too heavily emphasizes the fact that these athletes graduated from here, which just isn’t true. Let’s be honest, some of these professional sports stars probably didn’t do too much in the name of critically analyzed research papers or calculus problem sets while here. We’d lived in a lie long enough and we’re turning over a new leaf. Feels liberating.

What we care about is that they participated on our fields/courts/pools. We shall forevermore call this: What are these guys up to?

As always, you may be treated like royalty when you come back to campus, but it doesn’t mean you won’t get solitary confinement in Dennison from me.

To remember our roots of when we cared about when people got their degree, we’ll feature some personalities on the peripheries of professional sports this week. As part of the first-ever Michigan Sports Business Conference, Related Media CEO, Miami Dolphins owner and namesake of our business school Stephen M. Ross spoke about the possibility of the NFL expanding internationally and of the modern fan experience. He said he couldn’t envision the league expanding overseas, acknowledging the annual regular season game played in London the last few years.

He also opined that for a fan, it’s much more enticing to watch a game from home than to attend at the stadium. Especially on that last point, I’m going to have to agree with him. Some can be said about the fan experience and the atmosphere of a professional football game, but let me ask you this. Is being there really worth: 1. The price of tickets. 2. The price of parking. 3. The price of food. 4. Giving up extra time of your day for the commute. 5. Giving up watching from the comfort of your own home. 6. Not being able to keep tabs on the other happenings around the league. 7. Not being able to do anything else productive around the house. 8. Being able to customize your viewing experience, while eating and drinking whatever tickles your fancy. 9. Seeing the action more clearly courtesy of your 64-inch flatscreen TV. If it’s worth all this, then by all means, keep shelling out the dough. As for you Stephen, for your observations, you get a nice big telescope from the astronomy department.

Welcome back, Dick Costolo! Twitter has revolutionized the way we get news and interact with those whose opinions we care about, and sometimes don’t care about. Costolo’s in charge of keeping this tool moving forward, and he’ll be speaking Friday at Rackham Auditorium. As far sports go, Twitter has become the biggest sports bar in the country. After a big play or game or after a big news story breaks, we all flock to Twitter to take in the flood of opinions and mediocre jokes. It even gives us fodder here at the blog, For affecting the way we see the world, Dick, you get to share that big ole telescope with Stephen.

Manny Harris, former Michigan basketball player and current Ukrainian hooper has more of an international flavor than you probably thought. Check out his real name and spread the gospel. A quick Google translate didn’t shed any light on what exactly Corperryale L’Adorable means. Probably something “adorable,” which is, in and of itself, adorable. Also adorable is that Harris finds himself the leading scorer on Azovmash Mariupol, a team of players with names full of all the letters that get you a lot of points on Words With Friends. Or Scrabble, if anyone remembers that board game people used to play as they waited for the Dust Bowl to pass. Harris has played just four games, and Google (you let me down once again!) didn’t indicate an injury that kept Harris out of Azovmash’s other games, so we’re left to speculate that he was busy using that telescope with Stephen and Dick. What is true is that Harris, by playing on this team, follows in the footsteps of former college basketball greats, whose surnames all start with an E — Khalid El-Amin, Tyus Edney and Daniel Ewing. For your successes in foreign lands, Corperryale L’Adorable, you get a triple-word score in Ukrainian Scrabble.

I guess here’s an obligatory NFL reference to throw in. Tom Brady was successful, once again, at playing football once again. So much so that he led his team to victory. For your predictability, Tom, you get to order Orange Chicken at the Union’s Panda Express.

We conclude with an old friend and Michigan Daily alum, Rich Eisen. We love you, Rich, but you don’t get off scot-free for being on the field during actual gameplay. I hate to do it, but for this, you get solitary confinement in Dennison.

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